Hi readers... this is a late translation for the past post. Enjoy it :)
Hi got your emails for the last post, thank you so much... I still need to find out the reason why my posts are coming with the wrong date... Anyway... the right date for this one is June 11, 2008.
Today I'm feeling as if I'm a Greek who belongs to the 7th Century... wisdom? No... Rational? No... As I always do I'll introduce you to my daily days, so you'll be able to get why I'm feeling so Greek today.
Do you remember about my car wash? Well, as I promissed to myself I washed my car twice this week, today and on this Monday. Now it's fine... that big mess won't keep inside of the car anymore hehe I listen to my IPod while I wash my car as I told you before, but last night it wasn't workin' "your Ipod has been corrupted". What the fuck is that? So I woke up upset. Then I started thinking about my life while washing the car. Today I'm in a terrible mood, the worse of them all. I woke up with so much pain in my body, I didn't sleep well, I'm in those women days. After a while I started organizing all my things, I sent a few messages to a special person in my life, and suddenly I was so happy. I washed the car after that, I painted my nails, I called a musician from a band, made a few researches on internet and... and... and... that's all. I was so mad that I had so much free time. God, I want another kind of life... I can't stand this life of doing nothing! I tried one more job yesterday, the boss of the place said she didn't need anyone else, but she would be happy if I could fill up an application. Shit, I hate these applications... I don't understand why they ask you to fill up another paper if they ask you to come with your Curriculum vitae and you fill up that paper with the exactly same information of your CV!!! But I gave her a smile and I filled up the document. That didn't hurt, I just copied the same information of my CV in the store's paper, at least I had a little time of my day occupied. I had a good feeling about the boss... anyway, that's another subject. The problem is... I wanted that the boss could call me today and ask me to work there right now. When you don't have a shit to do you want things right away. If I send my CV, I want an answer right away, if I call someone I want this person to answer my call right away, if I send a text message I want an answer back right away, if I feel such a pain, I want this to go away RIGHT AWAY! Things don't work like that, I know that well. I need a quick change, I need to be occupied, and with this au-pair salary in my life... it's not working at all... I've been eating books, watching movies, learning lots of things, but I still feel an empty room inside of me because I'm plugged in the electricity and simply have nothing to do! This last weekend my friends told me that I'm electrifying, that I don't stop for a minute, and all the time they were asking me "relax Malu, sit down". I just can't, I have too much energy. I wanna do different things during the whole day and I can't do a god damn thing. I'm desparate!! There are lots of people who want days off, but I want desperately to work even more! The house is perfect, it's clean, smells good, the clothes I washed, folded, put them away, the dishes are clean, etc... shit! There's nothing I can do at home either!!! I posted on internet looking for a band and one more job, I answered other posts, and... NOTHING. Can you feel how desperate I am? That's why I bother people who are busy. I call them, I email them, I make such a noisy mess, I want company, I wanna talk, I wanna cry. Depression. Suddenly I feel depressive, I think about the money I don't have, and the people I don't have to talk to me. I cry... it's too much time... to much free time for a person.
Last night I tried to make a person feel better and asked him to pray. The prayer connects us to God, and calms down our hearts. Of course it doesn't last forever cause we are human-beings, but praying is really nice. That's what I need now... Well, I'll ask God to help me to find a busy way. Last time I asked a friend from a church, remember? My wish became my reality in that same week cause God heard my prayer. Ok Father... do it quickly, cause it's been hard... I wanna keep smiling and up, I want that this comlletely free moments can dissapear from my life!!
There was a time in my life that I worked as crazy... I worked 14 hours a day, and after work I had to go to the university... I complained so much about it that I got a new job in which I earned three times more than the last job, and unlike the other one I didn't have to move my ass for anything. I got this conclusion: it's better if you don't have time at all than if you have too much free time... unless you wanna be a Philosopher.
That's how I got to the point that I feel as if I'm an Ancient Greek recently. To become a Philosopher you need lots of free time to question things, to think, etc... that's how the first Philosopher was born. His name was Tales de Mileto, in the Ancient Greece. This guy was the one who described the solar eclipse, he found out that water gives life to people and things... this man kept looking at the sky to know about the weather conditions. Thank God for the Philosophers, but there are people just for these things. I like some way to philosophy, but I prefer to move. To work and have no time to breath. No Philosophy, I wanna be away of being a Greek Philosopher.
Philosophy means "love of knowledge", "love of wisdom", and I really know much more things now that I have time to read more, research and questioning. To hell with the Philosophy! Today I'm not a friend of having more knowledge, I'd rather to be it's enemy, so I won't have so much free time. When we don't have so much time, we discipline ourselves and the little time we find in our days become worthy, so we have part of our time to read a good book, make a research for pleasure, and question things. I wanna a distance from the Ancient Greece now.
I wish I could not have time to write down blogs. I went to a few places today to send my CV, I answered a few more posts on internet, I cooked lunch AND dinner, I cleaned the house, I watched a movie, made a few calls, and I can't wait to pick up the children at school...
Reader, if you are one of those who doesn't have ANY free time, raise your hands to God and give thanks that you're not feeling the same emptyness I am. What makes me less sad is to know that this free time one day will be ocupied with more work, more studies, and more people to talk to. It's not easy to be away from everything and everyone, especially when you're by yourself in a foreign country. Today I feel as I'm an Ancient Greek, tomorrow I'll be brazilian. Here comes the famous phrase "Brazilian people are hard workers". Well... not them all... but many of them look for an ocupation, not the monotony. A hard worker in the US is a good mix. The Law of Attraction, The Law of Love, my faith, and God... they're by my side, even in sad moments like this now. I'm gonna make it!
Remember when Albert Einstein said "Time is illusion". Actually, today I feel that time is a hard reality. No more Ancient Greece in my life!
Have a busy day readers!
With love,
Malu xxx
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Hoje sou grega... amanha brasileira (English translation tomorrow)
Oi leitores... recebi alguns dos seus emails pelo ultimo post, obrigada... Ainda preciso entender porque meus posts estao vindo com data incorreta... Enfim, a data correta deste post eh 11 de Junho de 2008.
Hoje me sinto como uma grega do seculo VII... sabedoria? Nao. Racionalismo? Nao.
Como de costume vou introduzir voces um pouquinho dentro do meu dia-a-dia, pois desta forma voces entenderao o porque de eu me sentir uma grega antiga.
Lembram da lavagem do carro? Pois eh...como prometi a mim mesma, lavei o carro duas vezes na semana, segunda-feira e hoje. Agora sim...aquela bagunca dentro do carro ja nao vai mais permanecer durante a semana hehe Escuto Ipod lavando o carro como ja falei por aqui, mas ontem a noite ele nao funcionava, o computador disse que ele havia sido corrompido. Eu la sei que porcaria eh essa, ja acordei irritada. Lavei o carro pensando na vida. Hoje estou de mal humor, o pior dos ultimos tempos. Acordei com muita dor no corpo, dormi mal, um daqueles dias de mulher. Depois de um pouco mais de tempo fui arrumando minhas coisas, mandei umas mensagens para uma pessoa especial para mim, e de repente fiquei toda feliz. Lavei o carro, fiz as unhas, liguei para um musico de uma banda, fiz algumas pesquisas na internet e ... e... e... so. Fiquei com raiva de ter tanto tempo livre assim. Deus, eu quero outro tipo de vida... eu nao aguento mais ficar sem fazer nada. Ontem fui tentar mais um emprego, a chefe do local disse que nao estava mais precisando de ninguem, mas que ficaria grata se eu preenchesse um formulario. Merda, detesto preencher formulario... nao sei porque eles pedem o seu Curriculum vitae se voce acaba preenchendo um formulario com os mesmos dados!!! Mas... sorri e preenchi. Nao doeu nada, so copiei os dados do meu CV no papel da loja e pelo menos ocupei meu tempo. Tive um bom pressentimento com relacao a chefe, enfim, este eh outro assunto. O problema eh... eu queria que a chefe me chamasse para trabalhar la agora. Quando voce nao tem merda nenhuma pra fazer voce quer tudo de imediato. Se eu mando um curriculo, quero a resposta de imediato, se ligo, quero ser atendida, se mando mensagem, quero resposta, se to com dor, quero agora que ela passe. Nao eh assim que funciona, e eu sei bem disso. Preciso urgente de mudanca, de ocupacao, e ganhando salario de au-pair nao ta rolando... tenho devorado livros, assitido filmes, aprendido muitas coisas, mas ainda assim sinto um vazio imenso porque eu sou ligada na tomada. Neste ultimo fim de semana minhas amigas disseram que sou eletrica, que nao paro um minuto e toda hora me falavam "Relaxa Malu, senta". Nao consigo, tenho muita energia. Eu quero fazer coisas o dia inteiro e nao posso fazer droga nenhuma. Que desespero!! Tanta gente desejando dias de folga e eu querendo desesperadamente trabalhar mais. A casa esta perfeita, limpa, cheirosa, roupas lavadas, dobradas, guardadas, loucas lavadas, etc... merda! Nao tem nada pra eu fazer nem dentro de casa! Coloco anuncios a procura de banda e emprego, respondo anuncios onde precisam de cantora, NADA. Sentiu o desespero? Daih eu fico atormentando as pessoas que estao ocupadas. Ligo, mando e-mail, faco um alvoroco, quero companhia, quero conversar, quero chorar. Depressao. De repente me sinto depressiva, penso na falta de dinheiro e na falta de pessoas para conversar. Choro. Eh muito tempo... muito tempo livre para uma pessoa so.
Ontem a noite tentei fazer uma pessoa se sentir melhor, e pedi que esta pessoa fizesse uma oracao. Oracao coloca a gente em conexao com Deus e acalma nosso coracao. Logico que nao dura o tempo todo, afinal somos humanos, mas orar eh muito gostoso. Eu preciso disso agora... Bom, eu vou pedir entao pra Deus me ajudar a achar um caminho ocupado logo. Da ultima vez eu pedi um amigo da igreja, lembra? E na mesma semana meu pedido se realizou, porque Deus atende. Vamos la Pai, age aih rapido por favor, porque nao ta dando... eu quero continuar sorrindo e de alto astral, quero que essa fase de desocupada suma da minha vida!
Teve tempo que trabalhei feito condenada...trabalhei 14 horas por dia, madrugava para ir trabalhar e ainda ia a noite pra faculdade... reclamei tanto que consegui um emprego novo, ganhava o triplo e nao fazia merda nenhuma, ficava na internet e cacando trabalho dentro da empresa. Cheguei a conclusao de que eh melhor nao ter tempo para nada ao inves de ter tempo de sobra, a nao ser que voce queira virar um filosofo.
Foi assim que me senti uma grega antiga. Para se tornar um filosofo voce precisa de muito tempo livre para indagar, argumentar, pensar, raciocinar, questionar, etc... foi desta forma que surgiu o primeiro filosofo, Tales de Mileto, na Grecia Antiga. Esse cara foi o responsavel por decifrar o eclipse solar, ele que descobriu que a água dah vida as pessoas e algumas coisas, e o cara ficava olhando para o ceu o tempo todo pra saber sobre o clima. Gracas a Deus existiram os filosofos, mas tem gente so para isso. Eu ate que gosto de filosofar, mas prefiro agitar. Trabalhar, nao ter tempo pra respirar. Filosofa coisa nenhuma, quero estar longe de ser uma filosofa grega.
Filosofia significa "amor pela sabedoria", "amor pelo conhecimento" e realmente sei muito mais porque tenho tempo para ler, pesquisar e indagar. Que se dane a filosofia! Hoje pra mim nao tem nada de amizade pela sabedoria, to preferindo que ela seja minha inimiga para que eu nao tenha tempo para saber de mais nada, so fazer. Quando nao temos tempo para nada, com um pouco mais de disciplina achamos um tempinho para dar valor a boa leitura, a pesquisa e a questionamentos. Muito tempo tenho tido para tal, quero distancia da Grecia Antiga.
Queria nao ter mais tempo para escrever aqui no meu blog. Ja fui a lugares entregar meu curriculo hoje, ja respondi anuncios na internet, ja cozinhei, ja limpei, ja assiti um filme, ja fiz ligacoes e ja nao vejo a hora de buscar as criancas na escola...
Leitor, se voce eh um daqueles que nao tem tempo para nada, levante as maos para o ceu e agradeca que voce nao esta sentindo esse vazio que eu estou. O que me deixa menos triste eh saber que um dia esse tempo todo livre estara ocupado com mais trabalho, mais estudo e mais pessoas para trocar ideias. Nao eh facil morar longe de tudo e de todos, ainda mais estando sozinha. Hoje sou grega, mas amanha serei brasileira. Dai a frase "brasileiro eh trabalhador". Bem... nem todos... mas ha muitos que buscam a ocupacao ao inves da monotonia. Mas brasileira trabalhadora nos Estados Unidos eh uma boa combinacao. A Lei da Atracao, a Lei do Amor, a minha fe e Deus estao ao meu lado, mesmo em momentos de tristeza, entao eu vou conseguir.
Albert Einstein disse que "tempo eh ilusao" lembra? Na verdade hoje eu sinto que eh uma dura realidade. Chega de Grecia Antiga na minha vida!
Tenham um dia ocupado leitores,
Com amor,
Malu xxx
Hoje me sinto como uma grega do seculo VII... sabedoria? Nao. Racionalismo? Nao.
Como de costume vou introduzir voces um pouquinho dentro do meu dia-a-dia, pois desta forma voces entenderao o porque de eu me sentir uma grega antiga.
Lembram da lavagem do carro? Pois eh...como prometi a mim mesma, lavei o carro duas vezes na semana, segunda-feira e hoje. Agora sim...aquela bagunca dentro do carro ja nao vai mais permanecer durante a semana hehe Escuto Ipod lavando o carro como ja falei por aqui, mas ontem a noite ele nao funcionava, o computador disse que ele havia sido corrompido. Eu la sei que porcaria eh essa, ja acordei irritada. Lavei o carro pensando na vida. Hoje estou de mal humor, o pior dos ultimos tempos. Acordei com muita dor no corpo, dormi mal, um daqueles dias de mulher. Depois de um pouco mais de tempo fui arrumando minhas coisas, mandei umas mensagens para uma pessoa especial para mim, e de repente fiquei toda feliz. Lavei o carro, fiz as unhas, liguei para um musico de uma banda, fiz algumas pesquisas na internet e ... e... e... so. Fiquei com raiva de ter tanto tempo livre assim. Deus, eu quero outro tipo de vida... eu nao aguento mais ficar sem fazer nada. Ontem fui tentar mais um emprego, a chefe do local disse que nao estava mais precisando de ninguem, mas que ficaria grata se eu preenchesse um formulario. Merda, detesto preencher formulario... nao sei porque eles pedem o seu Curriculum vitae se voce acaba preenchendo um formulario com os mesmos dados!!! Mas... sorri e preenchi. Nao doeu nada, so copiei os dados do meu CV no papel da loja e pelo menos ocupei meu tempo. Tive um bom pressentimento com relacao a chefe, enfim, este eh outro assunto. O problema eh... eu queria que a chefe me chamasse para trabalhar la agora. Quando voce nao tem merda nenhuma pra fazer voce quer tudo de imediato. Se eu mando um curriculo, quero a resposta de imediato, se ligo, quero ser atendida, se mando mensagem, quero resposta, se to com dor, quero agora que ela passe. Nao eh assim que funciona, e eu sei bem disso. Preciso urgente de mudanca, de ocupacao, e ganhando salario de au-pair nao ta rolando... tenho devorado livros, assitido filmes, aprendido muitas coisas, mas ainda assim sinto um vazio imenso porque eu sou ligada na tomada. Neste ultimo fim de semana minhas amigas disseram que sou eletrica, que nao paro um minuto e toda hora me falavam "Relaxa Malu, senta". Nao consigo, tenho muita energia. Eu quero fazer coisas o dia inteiro e nao posso fazer droga nenhuma. Que desespero!! Tanta gente desejando dias de folga e eu querendo desesperadamente trabalhar mais. A casa esta perfeita, limpa, cheirosa, roupas lavadas, dobradas, guardadas, loucas lavadas, etc... merda! Nao tem nada pra eu fazer nem dentro de casa! Coloco anuncios a procura de banda e emprego, respondo anuncios onde precisam de cantora, NADA. Sentiu o desespero? Daih eu fico atormentando as pessoas que estao ocupadas. Ligo, mando e-mail, faco um alvoroco, quero companhia, quero conversar, quero chorar. Depressao. De repente me sinto depressiva, penso na falta de dinheiro e na falta de pessoas para conversar. Choro. Eh muito tempo... muito tempo livre para uma pessoa so.
Ontem a noite tentei fazer uma pessoa se sentir melhor, e pedi que esta pessoa fizesse uma oracao. Oracao coloca a gente em conexao com Deus e acalma nosso coracao. Logico que nao dura o tempo todo, afinal somos humanos, mas orar eh muito gostoso. Eu preciso disso agora... Bom, eu vou pedir entao pra Deus me ajudar a achar um caminho ocupado logo. Da ultima vez eu pedi um amigo da igreja, lembra? E na mesma semana meu pedido se realizou, porque Deus atende. Vamos la Pai, age aih rapido por favor, porque nao ta dando... eu quero continuar sorrindo e de alto astral, quero que essa fase de desocupada suma da minha vida!
Teve tempo que trabalhei feito condenada...trabalhei 14 horas por dia, madrugava para ir trabalhar e ainda ia a noite pra faculdade... reclamei tanto que consegui um emprego novo, ganhava o triplo e nao fazia merda nenhuma, ficava na internet e cacando trabalho dentro da empresa. Cheguei a conclusao de que eh melhor nao ter tempo para nada ao inves de ter tempo de sobra, a nao ser que voce queira virar um filosofo.
Foi assim que me senti uma grega antiga. Para se tornar um filosofo voce precisa de muito tempo livre para indagar, argumentar, pensar, raciocinar, questionar, etc... foi desta forma que surgiu o primeiro filosofo, Tales de Mileto, na Grecia Antiga. Esse cara foi o responsavel por decifrar o eclipse solar, ele que descobriu que a água dah vida as pessoas e algumas coisas, e o cara ficava olhando para o ceu o tempo todo pra saber sobre o clima. Gracas a Deus existiram os filosofos, mas tem gente so para isso. Eu ate que gosto de filosofar, mas prefiro agitar. Trabalhar, nao ter tempo pra respirar. Filosofa coisa nenhuma, quero estar longe de ser uma filosofa grega.
Filosofia significa "amor pela sabedoria", "amor pelo conhecimento" e realmente sei muito mais porque tenho tempo para ler, pesquisar e indagar. Que se dane a filosofia! Hoje pra mim nao tem nada de amizade pela sabedoria, to preferindo que ela seja minha inimiga para que eu nao tenha tempo para saber de mais nada, so fazer. Quando nao temos tempo para nada, com um pouco mais de disciplina achamos um tempinho para dar valor a boa leitura, a pesquisa e a questionamentos. Muito tempo tenho tido para tal, quero distancia da Grecia Antiga.
Queria nao ter mais tempo para escrever aqui no meu blog. Ja fui a lugares entregar meu curriculo hoje, ja respondi anuncios na internet, ja cozinhei, ja limpei, ja assiti um filme, ja fiz ligacoes e ja nao vejo a hora de buscar as criancas na escola...
Leitor, se voce eh um daqueles que nao tem tempo para nada, levante as maos para o ceu e agradeca que voce nao esta sentindo esse vazio que eu estou. O que me deixa menos triste eh saber que um dia esse tempo todo livre estara ocupado com mais trabalho, mais estudo e mais pessoas para trocar ideias. Nao eh facil morar longe de tudo e de todos, ainda mais estando sozinha. Hoje sou grega, mas amanha serei brasileira. Dai a frase "brasileiro eh trabalhador". Bem... nem todos... mas ha muitos que buscam a ocupacao ao inves da monotonia. Mas brasileira trabalhadora nos Estados Unidos eh uma boa combinacao. A Lei da Atracao, a Lei do Amor, a minha fe e Deus estao ao meu lado, mesmo em momentos de tristeza, entao eu vou conseguir.
Albert Einstein disse que "tempo eh ilusao" lembra? Na verdade hoje eu sinto que eh uma dura realidade. Chega de Grecia Antiga na minha vida!
Tenham um dia ocupado leitores,
Com amor,
Malu xxx
Friday, June 6, 2008
Law of Attraction, Law of Love (traducao para o portugues abaixo "Lei da Atracao, Lei do Amor")
Hi readers :) No Myspace blog anymore, but the art of writing keeps the same... so welcome to my "new-old" blog. It was created in San Francisco in 2007, and I used it only once, but never again... Regarding the changes in my life, this is a welcome blog to me. I'm going to write this down at first in Portuguese (my original language) then next day you'll have it translated to English.
I washed my car today as I always do, but usually I wash it on Mondays. It drives me mad that in the middle of the week it is completely dirty again, full of dust and messy bacause of the kids I take care of... and the car keeps as dirty as before until next Monday. Oh, do I have to change this too? Will I have to wash the car twice a week from now on? Yes, the answer is yes, this is my decision. I'm not rich, so I wash the car with my own hands... but I loooove it... I listen to music with the Ipod, I sing while I'm washing it. The neighboors probably think I'm a little crazy. Anyway... it was during my car wash that I started thinking about my life again. With the Ipod in my ears? No... it had low battery, and I wanted to have it for the gym. So... while I was washing the car I thought "I want my own car, I don't want to borrow it". I use my host father's car, but it's much better to have the pleasure of taking care of your own car... And I will have my own car soon here in Los Angeles, and it will not take so long, do you know why? Because there is the Law of Attraction and the power of God in my life, more and more each day of my life.
My own car is one of the things I want, but it's not only the car. I want many things, and with my thoughts and faith I will have everything I want.
A very special person asked me one day "What do you really want?" He wanted to know what I really wanted for my life, my wish, and thousand things came to my mind, but I had no answer. Since that annoyed me so much, I started thinking a lot about what I really want.
We always know what we really want, but for sure we don't have only one thing we wish, and we also know that we need to set priorities, I mean we need to realize some things before others.
Have you thought of what you really want?
Gosh, I have a list of what I want, but now my biggest goal is related to my career. I wanna work with the most important producer in the USA related to the popular music field. His name is David Foster. All I know is that... the day that this man hear my voice he won't let me go cause I'll make him richer :) A dream? Of course it is, but a dream come true will be much better.
David Foster... I thought so much about him that I met him at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas when I was on vacation, and it was there that I realize that it would not be impossible to give him a demo someday, so he could listen to it. But how would I be sure that he was really going to listen to my demo? The power of my thought, my faith. By thinking of all that this man was in front of a woman who came from Brazil... I was shaking.
Reflecting about this subject I read a few books, some of them told by people I consider important to me. I'll mention two amazing books which have been helping me a lot, I finished reading both last week:
- The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
- The Secret, by Rohnda Byrne
Both books tell about things that I can't live without and these things are priorities in my life: love, conquer, and God.
When I talk about love I mean to love people, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my husband, God, the nature, my life.
Conquer? To conquer dreams, people, challenges, trust, material things, everything.
God? God is. God is the verb as Genesis tells us, so God made me, He's my beloved Father.
Reading these books I realized so many things, and one of them is what I've learned before about love. From the Bible (Corinthians) we have "...From all [of these], the greatest is love".
In The Secret the author says "There is no getting away from the Law of Love. It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible". Oh, what a beautiful thing I read. That's why I love reading... Everything we do with love in our daily lives becomes invincible, good, nice, positive thought, faith.
I came to Los Angeles because of the love I have for my life, and because of the love I have for singing, because of the love I have for my career, because of the love I have for God, because of the love I have for people who heard me singing and for those who will hear me singing someday. In The Secret the author concludes that the greatest secret is the Law of Attraction. You can know what your really want when you ask yourself "what do I really want?, you think you're capable, you believe. Finally, you receive. This happened to me. For so many years I had the dream to be where I am now, in the USA. I always wanted to live abroad, and always wished for the First World where I knew I would be happier. Here I am. Did it take a long time? Many years are short years if I see the many many years I have ahead in my life, and as Albert Einstein says "Time is just an illusion".
The Law of Attraction...to think of something you want to, to visualize what you want to... it depends on how you think of something (if you're positive, you atract, if you're negative, you keep it away. Do you want a lot? It's about faith, God and love. It becomes your reality. It becomes gratitude.
Part of the book The Secret says:
He is "a gorgeous-looking man with all these actresses around him because that's the work he does, and he doesn't have any romance. I asked him "what do you want?" "I want to date three women a week. I said "ok, paint it. Paint yourself with three women a week, and hang it in every corner of your living space". Six months later I saw him and asked, "How is your love life?" "Great! Women call me, they want to date me". "Because that's your wish", I said. He said "I feel great. I mean, for years I did not have a date and now I have three dates a week. They're fighting over me". "Good for you", I said. Then he told me "I really want to stabilize. I want marriage now, I want romance". "Well, then paint it". He painted a beautiful romantic relationship, and a year later he got married , and he's very happy".
Readers... we are what we really want, think of, believe, act, receive and give thanks.
Reading Five Love Languages I realized that "Love is a choice". I chose to love my family, even though my father stopped me from having my career for years, or even knowing that my mom didn't teach me how to be more feminine, or knowing that my sister bit me when we were kids, even though my cousin never gave me a present. Love is a choice, you love if you want to love. I chose to love life, that's why I decided to look at the stars in the evenings, and I give thanks for them. I chose to love myself, that's why I decided to do what I like to do, not work for the money only. I chose to love my friends, that's why I have true friends. If you choose to love money only, you'll be a millionaire. But be aware of what you love and wish cause your thought becomes things, and to wish things without love destroys you. In that same way, if you don't think in a positive way you destroy what you really want. I've been going to the gym and eating salad, and I've been thinking that it takes too long to loose weight, it will take forever, shit. I've just changed. Today I lost more weight, tomorrow I'll loose it more, and I'll be back to my normal self again and fell better and more beautiful. I want to be even more beautiful hehe so I think constantly of it, I visualize it, I receive it.
God is love. I want love. I want God. I think of God, I speak of God, I receive God.
I want a good man. I want. I think. I visualize. I act. I'll receive him. I'll thank for him.
I can't let my list without many things... God, a happy family, a good man, a successful career. Success in everything in a general way. I have around 6000 thought a day as every human-being, I can't control them all, but the ones I really want to, I control it, I think, I believe, I visualize, I act, I receive, I give thanks.
Give thanks, don't forget your gratitude. I give thanks for my blog.
I give thanks to God for everything.
Have a great weekend readers cause mine will be unforgettable!
With LOVE,
Malu xxx
I washed my car today as I always do, but usually I wash it on Mondays. It drives me mad that in the middle of the week it is completely dirty again, full of dust and messy bacause of the kids I take care of... and the car keeps as dirty as before until next Monday. Oh, do I have to change this too? Will I have to wash the car twice a week from now on? Yes, the answer is yes, this is my decision. I'm not rich, so I wash the car with my own hands... but I loooove it... I listen to music with the Ipod, I sing while I'm washing it. The neighboors probably think I'm a little crazy. Anyway... it was during my car wash that I started thinking about my life again. With the Ipod in my ears? No... it had low battery, and I wanted to have it for the gym. So... while I was washing the car I thought "I want my own car, I don't want to borrow it". I use my host father's car, but it's much better to have the pleasure of taking care of your own car... And I will have my own car soon here in Los Angeles, and it will not take so long, do you know why? Because there is the Law of Attraction and the power of God in my life, more and more each day of my life.
My own car is one of the things I want, but it's not only the car. I want many things, and with my thoughts and faith I will have everything I want.
A very special person asked me one day "What do you really want?" He wanted to know what I really wanted for my life, my wish, and thousand things came to my mind, but I had no answer. Since that annoyed me so much, I started thinking a lot about what I really want.
We always know what we really want, but for sure we don't have only one thing we wish, and we also know that we need to set priorities, I mean we need to realize some things before others.
Have you thought of what you really want?
Gosh, I have a list of what I want, but now my biggest goal is related to my career. I wanna work with the most important producer in the USA related to the popular music field. His name is David Foster. All I know is that... the day that this man hear my voice he won't let me go cause I'll make him richer :) A dream? Of course it is, but a dream come true will be much better.
David Foster... I thought so much about him that I met him at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas when I was on vacation, and it was there that I realize that it would not be impossible to give him a demo someday, so he could listen to it. But how would I be sure that he was really going to listen to my demo? The power of my thought, my faith. By thinking of all that this man was in front of a woman who came from Brazil... I was shaking.
Reflecting about this subject I read a few books, some of them told by people I consider important to me. I'll mention two amazing books which have been helping me a lot, I finished reading both last week:
- The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
- The Secret, by Rohnda Byrne
Both books tell about things that I can't live without and these things are priorities in my life: love, conquer, and God.
When I talk about love I mean to love people, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my husband, God, the nature, my life.
Conquer? To conquer dreams, people, challenges, trust, material things, everything.
God? God is. God is the verb as Genesis tells us, so God made me, He's my beloved Father.
Reading these books I realized so many things, and one of them is what I've learned before about love. From the Bible (Corinthians) we have "...From all [of these], the greatest is love".
In The Secret the author says "There is no getting away from the Law of Love. It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible". Oh, what a beautiful thing I read. That's why I love reading... Everything we do with love in our daily lives becomes invincible, good, nice, positive thought, faith.
I came to Los Angeles because of the love I have for my life, and because of the love I have for singing, because of the love I have for my career, because of the love I have for God, because of the love I have for people who heard me singing and for those who will hear me singing someday. In The Secret the author concludes that the greatest secret is the Law of Attraction. You can know what your really want when you ask yourself "what do I really want?, you think you're capable, you believe. Finally, you receive. This happened to me. For so many years I had the dream to be where I am now, in the USA. I always wanted to live abroad, and always wished for the First World where I knew I would be happier. Here I am. Did it take a long time? Many years are short years if I see the many many years I have ahead in my life, and as Albert Einstein says "Time is just an illusion".
The Law of Attraction...to think of something you want to, to visualize what you want to... it depends on how you think of something (if you're positive, you atract, if you're negative, you keep it away. Do you want a lot? It's about faith, God and love. It becomes your reality. It becomes gratitude.
Part of the book The Secret says:
He is "a gorgeous-looking man with all these actresses around him because that's the work he does, and he doesn't have any romance. I asked him "what do you want?" "I want to date three women a week. I said "ok, paint it. Paint yourself with three women a week, and hang it in every corner of your living space". Six months later I saw him and asked, "How is your love life?" "Great! Women call me, they want to date me". "Because that's your wish", I said. He said "I feel great. I mean, for years I did not have a date and now I have three dates a week. They're fighting over me". "Good for you", I said. Then he told me "I really want to stabilize. I want marriage now, I want romance". "Well, then paint it". He painted a beautiful romantic relationship, and a year later he got married , and he's very happy".
Readers... we are what we really want, think of, believe, act, receive and give thanks.
Reading Five Love Languages I realized that "Love is a choice". I chose to love my family, even though my father stopped me from having my career for years, or even knowing that my mom didn't teach me how to be more feminine, or knowing that my sister bit me when we were kids, even though my cousin never gave me a present. Love is a choice, you love if you want to love. I chose to love life, that's why I decided to look at the stars in the evenings, and I give thanks for them. I chose to love myself, that's why I decided to do what I like to do, not work for the money only. I chose to love my friends, that's why I have true friends. If you choose to love money only, you'll be a millionaire. But be aware of what you love and wish cause your thought becomes things, and to wish things without love destroys you. In that same way, if you don't think in a positive way you destroy what you really want. I've been going to the gym and eating salad, and I've been thinking that it takes too long to loose weight, it will take forever, shit. I've just changed. Today I lost more weight, tomorrow I'll loose it more, and I'll be back to my normal self again and fell better and more beautiful. I want to be even more beautiful hehe so I think constantly of it, I visualize it, I receive it.
God is love. I want love. I want God. I think of God, I speak of God, I receive God.
I want a good man. I want. I think. I visualize. I act. I'll receive him. I'll thank for him.
I can't let my list without many things... God, a happy family, a good man, a successful career. Success in everything in a general way. I have around 6000 thought a day as every human-being, I can't control them all, but the ones I really want to, I control it, I think, I believe, I visualize, I act, I receive, I give thanks.
Give thanks, don't forget your gratitude. I give thanks for my blog.
I give thanks to God for everything.
Have a great weekend readers cause mine will be unforgettable!
With LOVE,
Malu xxx
Lei da Atracao, Lei do Amor (portuguese/ in english tomorrow)
Oi leitores :) Nao mais blog no MySpace, mas a arte de escrever continua a mesma...entao...sejam bem-vindos ao meu "novo-velho" blog. Este foi criado em San Francisco em 2007 e usei uma unica vez, em junho... depois disto, nunca mais... Como eh tempo de mudancas na minha vida, este blog eh muito querido. Primeiramente escreverei em portugues, a traducao vira no dia seguinte ou mais tarde no mesmo dia.
Hoje lavei o meu carro como de costume,e lavo toda semana, mas geralmente na segunda-feira. Para meu desgosto, no meio da semana ele ja esta completamente sujo de novo, cheio de poeira e de bagunca das criancas que tomo conta... e assim acaba ficando ate a proxima segunda-feira. Ai, sera que terei de mudar isto tambem? Lavar o carro duas vezes durante a semana? Sim, a resposta eh sim, eh eh minha decisao. Nao sou rica, lavo com minhas proprias maos... mas e daih, ne? Eu adoooro... vou escutando meu Ipod, cantando e lavando o carro. Os vizinhos devem pensar que sou doidinha...
Enfim, foi lavando o carro hoje que comecei a refletir mais uma vez sobre a minha vida. Com o Ipod no ouvido? Nao... o Ipod estava com a bateria fraca, eu queria usar o resto desta na academia enquanto sofria na esteira hehe. Entao comecei a lavar o carro e pensei "Eu quero um carro meu, nao quero um emprestado". Eu uso o carro do meu host father nos Estados Unidos, mas o prazer de ter o proprio carro e cuidar do mesmo eh muito maior... Eu vou ter meu proprio carro logo aqui em Los Angeles, e nao vai demorar muito nao, sabe por que? Porque tem a Lei da Atracao e o poder de Deus na minha vida, cada vez mais.
O carro eh uma das coisas que quero pra mim, mas nao eh so o carro. Eu quero muitas coisas, e com a forca do meu pensamento, com a minha fe, eu vou conseguir tudo.
Uma pessoa muito especial pra mim me perguntou um dia "O que voce realmente quer?" Ele queria saber o que eu realmente queria na minha vida, e mil coisas vieram na minha cabeca e nenhuma resposta me veio. Aquilo me incomodou tanto e desde entao eu comecei a refletir demais sobre o que eu realmente quero.
Nos sempre sabemos o queremos, mas eh certo que nao eh somente um desejo que temos, e sabemos que ha prioridades, ou seja, algumas das nossas vontades precisam ser realizadas antes do que outras.
Voce ja pensou no que realmente voce quer? O que voce realmente quer?
Nossa, eu tenho uma lista... mas a minha maior realizacao estah primeiramente voltada a minha carreira agora. Eu quero trabalhar com o maior produtor dos Estados Unidos no campo de musica popular, o nome dele eh David Foster. Eu sei de uma coisa... o dia que esse homem me ouvir cantar ele nao vai me largar, porque eu vou faze-lo mais rico :) Sonho? Logico que eh, mas realizado sera bem melhor.
David Foster... eu ja pensei tanto nele que o encontrei no Caesar's Palace duas vezes quando fui a Las Vegas nas minhas ferias, e foi la que percebi que nao seria impossivel de entregar uma demo para ele ouvir. E como eu teria certeza que ele ouviria minha fita? A forca do meu pensamento, a fe. Foi pensando nisso que ele apareceu do nada na frente de uma mulher vinda do Brasil e eu tremia feito vara verde.
Pensando no que realmente quero busquei algumas leituras indicadas por pessoas importantes para mim. Vou citar dois livros incriveis que estao me ajudando muito, terminei de ler ambos na semana passada:
- The Five Love Languages (As Cinco Linguagens do Amor), por Gary Chapman
- The Secret, por Rohnda Byrne
Os dois livros falam de coisas que eu nao consigo viver sem, e sao prioridade na minha vida: amor, conquista e Deus.
Quando eu falo de amor, eu penso em conjugar o verbo amar... amar pessoas, amar minha familia, amar meus amigos, amar meu namorado, amar meu marido, amar Deus, amar a natureza, amar a vida.
Conquista? Conquistar sonhos, pessoas, desafios, confianca, respeito, bens materiais, tudo.
Deus? Deus eh. Deus eh o verbo, como diz Genesis, entao, Deus eh e ele me fez, eh meu Pai que amo e nao vivo sem Ele.
Fazendo a leitura dos livros eu cheguei a varias conclusoes, uma delas eh so um reforco do que eu ja sabia perante a leitura da Biblia em Corintios "De todos [esses], o maior deles eh o amor".
No livro The Secret eh dito que "Nao ha como nos livrarmos da Lei do Amor. Eh sentimento que transmitimos vitalidade para pensar. Sentimento eh desejo e desejo eh amor. Pensamento repleto de amor torna-se invencivel". Ai que coisa linda isso que eu li. Por isso que eu amo tanto ler... Tudo que fazemos no dia-a-dia com amor se torna invencivel, se torna bom, se torna agradavel, se torna vital, se torna em pensamento positivo, se torna nossa fe.
Vim pra Los Angeles por causa do amor que tenho a minha vida, por causa amor que tenho ao meu dom de cantar, por causa do amor que tenho a minha carreira, pelo amor que tenho a Deus, pelo amor que tenho as pessoas que me ouviram cantar e as muitas que vao me ouvir cantar um dia. Pensei, logo existi. No livro The Secret eh concluido que o grande segredo esta na Lei da Atracao. Voce conclui o que voce realmente quer se perguntando "o que eu realmente quero?", voce pensa que pode, voce acredita. Finalmente, voce recebe. Isso aconteceu comigo. Ha muitos anos eu tinha o sonho de estar onde estou, de conhecer os Estados Unidos. Eu sempre quis morar fora do Brasil, sempre desejei o primeiro mundo, o mundo onde que eu sabia que seria mais feliz. Aqui estou. Demorou bastante tempo? Muitos anos sao poucos dos muitos e muitos anos que tenho pela frente, e como diz Albert Einstein "Time is just an illusion" (Tempo eh somente uma ilusao).
Em seguida vem o que eu amo a respeito da vida, tudo esta relacionado... A Lei da Atracao, de pensar constantemente em algo, de visualizar onde voce quer estar, tudo depende da forca com que voce pensa naquilo, na forma que voce pensa (se positiva, voce atrai...se negativa, voce afasta), e do amor que voce tem por algo que quer. Quer muito? Eh fe, eh Deus, eh amor. Vira realizacao. Vira gratidao pelo que se tem.
Um trecho do livro The Secret:
Ele eh "um homem extremamente bonito e bem apresentavel que tem todas essas atrizes em volta dele por causa do trabalho que ele faz [pintor], e ele nao tem nenhum romance. Eu perguntei a ele "O que voce quer?" "Eu quero sair com tres mulheres por semana" e eu disse "Tudo bem, pinte isso. Pinte voce mesmo com tres mulheres por semana e pendure suas pinturas em cada canto de onde voce mora". Seis meses depois eu o vi e perguntei "Como esta sua vida amorosa?" "Otima!Mulheres me ligam, elas querem sair comigo". "Porque este eh o seu desejo", eu disse. Ele disse "Eu me sinto otimo. Eu quero dizer, por muitos anos eu nao tinha sequer alguem para sair, agora eu tenho tres encontros por semana. Elas estao brigando por minha causa". Bom para voce, eu disse. Entao ele me contou "Eu realmente quero estabilidade. Eu quero casamento agora, eu quero romance". Eu disse. "Bem, entao pinte isso". Ele pintou uma lindo e romantico relacionamento, e um ano depois ele casou e ele esta muito feliz" .
Leitores... a gente eh o que a gente quer, pensa, acredita, age, recebe e agradece.
Na leitura de Five Love Languages cheguei a conclusao de que "amor eh escolha". Eu escolhi amar minha familia, mesmo sabendo que meu pai impediu a minha carreira, mesmo sabendo que minha mae nao me ensinou a ser mais feminina, mesmo que minha irma tenha me mordido na infancia, mesmo que meu primo nunca tenha me dado um presente. Eh escolha, voce ama se voce quer. Eu escolhi amar a vida, por isso eu olho para as estrelas a noite, e agradeco a Deus por elas. Eu escolhi amar minha pessoa, por isso resolvi fazer o que gosto e nao so ganhar dinheiro. Eu resolvi amar meus amigos, por isso tenho amigos de verdade. Se voce resolver amar so o dinheiro, voce sera milionario. Mas cuidado com o que voce ama e deseja, a forca do pensamento gera coisas realizadas, e desejar coisas sem amor gera destruicao. E pensar sem positividade tambem gera em destruicao do que se quer. Eu tenho ido a academia todos os dias e comendo salada, sempre pensando que demora pra emagrecer, que vai levar muito tempo, ai que droga. Mudei. Hoje eu perdi mais peso, amanha perderei mais, e meu peso voltarah ao normal para que eu me sinta melhor e mais bonita. Quero ser mais linda ainda hehe penso, visualizo, recebo.
Deus eh amor. Eu quero amor. Eu quero Deus. Eu penso em Deus, eu falo em Deus, eu recebo Deus.Quero um homem digno. Quero. Penso. Visualizo. Ajo. Conclusao: receberei. Agradecerei.
Na minha lista nao pode faltar muitas coisas... Deus, familia feliz, um homem digno, o sucesso da minha carreira. Eu quero o sucesso em tudo. Tenho cerca de 6000 pensamentos por dia, nao da para controlar todos, mas os que voce quer voce controla, quer, pensa, visualiza, age, recebe e agradece.
Agradeca, nao esqueca de agradecer. Agradeco pelo meu blog.
Agradeco a Deus por tudo. Tenham um otimo fim de semana leitores, porque o meu sera inesquecivel!
Com AMOR,
Malu xxx
Hoje lavei o meu carro como de costume,e lavo toda semana, mas geralmente na segunda-feira. Para meu desgosto, no meio da semana ele ja esta completamente sujo de novo, cheio de poeira e de bagunca das criancas que tomo conta... e assim acaba ficando ate a proxima segunda-feira. Ai, sera que terei de mudar isto tambem? Lavar o carro duas vezes durante a semana? Sim, a resposta eh sim, eh eh minha decisao. Nao sou rica, lavo com minhas proprias maos... mas e daih, ne? Eu adoooro... vou escutando meu Ipod, cantando e lavando o carro. Os vizinhos devem pensar que sou doidinha...
Enfim, foi lavando o carro hoje que comecei a refletir mais uma vez sobre a minha vida. Com o Ipod no ouvido? Nao... o Ipod estava com a bateria fraca, eu queria usar o resto desta na academia enquanto sofria na esteira hehe. Entao comecei a lavar o carro e pensei "Eu quero um carro meu, nao quero um emprestado". Eu uso o carro do meu host father nos Estados Unidos, mas o prazer de ter o proprio carro e cuidar do mesmo eh muito maior... Eu vou ter meu proprio carro logo aqui em Los Angeles, e nao vai demorar muito nao, sabe por que? Porque tem a Lei da Atracao e o poder de Deus na minha vida, cada vez mais.
O carro eh uma das coisas que quero pra mim, mas nao eh so o carro. Eu quero muitas coisas, e com a forca do meu pensamento, com a minha fe, eu vou conseguir tudo.
Uma pessoa muito especial pra mim me perguntou um dia "O que voce realmente quer?" Ele queria saber o que eu realmente queria na minha vida, e mil coisas vieram na minha cabeca e nenhuma resposta me veio. Aquilo me incomodou tanto e desde entao eu comecei a refletir demais sobre o que eu realmente quero.
Nos sempre sabemos o queremos, mas eh certo que nao eh somente um desejo que temos, e sabemos que ha prioridades, ou seja, algumas das nossas vontades precisam ser realizadas antes do que outras.
Voce ja pensou no que realmente voce quer? O que voce realmente quer?
Nossa, eu tenho uma lista... mas a minha maior realizacao estah primeiramente voltada a minha carreira agora. Eu quero trabalhar com o maior produtor dos Estados Unidos no campo de musica popular, o nome dele eh David Foster. Eu sei de uma coisa... o dia que esse homem me ouvir cantar ele nao vai me largar, porque eu vou faze-lo mais rico :) Sonho? Logico que eh, mas realizado sera bem melhor.
David Foster... eu ja pensei tanto nele que o encontrei no Caesar's Palace duas vezes quando fui a Las Vegas nas minhas ferias, e foi la que percebi que nao seria impossivel de entregar uma demo para ele ouvir. E como eu teria certeza que ele ouviria minha fita? A forca do meu pensamento, a fe. Foi pensando nisso que ele apareceu do nada na frente de uma mulher vinda do Brasil e eu tremia feito vara verde.
Pensando no que realmente quero busquei algumas leituras indicadas por pessoas importantes para mim. Vou citar dois livros incriveis que estao me ajudando muito, terminei de ler ambos na semana passada:
- The Five Love Languages (As Cinco Linguagens do Amor), por Gary Chapman
- The Secret, por Rohnda Byrne
Os dois livros falam de coisas que eu nao consigo viver sem, e sao prioridade na minha vida: amor, conquista e Deus.
Quando eu falo de amor, eu penso em conjugar o verbo amar... amar pessoas, amar minha familia, amar meus amigos, amar meu namorado, amar meu marido, amar Deus, amar a natureza, amar a vida.
Conquista? Conquistar sonhos, pessoas, desafios, confianca, respeito, bens materiais, tudo.
Deus? Deus eh. Deus eh o verbo, como diz Genesis, entao, Deus eh e ele me fez, eh meu Pai que amo e nao vivo sem Ele.
Fazendo a leitura dos livros eu cheguei a varias conclusoes, uma delas eh so um reforco do que eu ja sabia perante a leitura da Biblia em Corintios "De todos [esses], o maior deles eh o amor".
No livro The Secret eh dito que "Nao ha como nos livrarmos da Lei do Amor. Eh sentimento que transmitimos vitalidade para pensar. Sentimento eh desejo e desejo eh amor. Pensamento repleto de amor torna-se invencivel". Ai que coisa linda isso que eu li. Por isso que eu amo tanto ler... Tudo que fazemos no dia-a-dia com amor se torna invencivel, se torna bom, se torna agradavel, se torna vital, se torna em pensamento positivo, se torna nossa fe.
Vim pra Los Angeles por causa do amor que tenho a minha vida, por causa amor que tenho ao meu dom de cantar, por causa do amor que tenho a minha carreira, pelo amor que tenho a Deus, pelo amor que tenho as pessoas que me ouviram cantar e as muitas que vao me ouvir cantar um dia. Pensei, logo existi. No livro The Secret eh concluido que o grande segredo esta na Lei da Atracao. Voce conclui o que voce realmente quer se perguntando "o que eu realmente quero?", voce pensa que pode, voce acredita. Finalmente, voce recebe. Isso aconteceu comigo. Ha muitos anos eu tinha o sonho de estar onde estou, de conhecer os Estados Unidos. Eu sempre quis morar fora do Brasil, sempre desejei o primeiro mundo, o mundo onde que eu sabia que seria mais feliz. Aqui estou. Demorou bastante tempo? Muitos anos sao poucos dos muitos e muitos anos que tenho pela frente, e como diz Albert Einstein "Time is just an illusion" (Tempo eh somente uma ilusao).
Em seguida vem o que eu amo a respeito da vida, tudo esta relacionado... A Lei da Atracao, de pensar constantemente em algo, de visualizar onde voce quer estar, tudo depende da forca com que voce pensa naquilo, na forma que voce pensa (se positiva, voce atrai...se negativa, voce afasta), e do amor que voce tem por algo que quer. Quer muito? Eh fe, eh Deus, eh amor. Vira realizacao. Vira gratidao pelo que se tem.
Um trecho do livro The Secret:
Ele eh "um homem extremamente bonito e bem apresentavel que tem todas essas atrizes em volta dele por causa do trabalho que ele faz [pintor], e ele nao tem nenhum romance. Eu perguntei a ele "O que voce quer?" "Eu quero sair com tres mulheres por semana" e eu disse "Tudo bem, pinte isso. Pinte voce mesmo com tres mulheres por semana e pendure suas pinturas em cada canto de onde voce mora". Seis meses depois eu o vi e perguntei "Como esta sua vida amorosa?" "Otima!Mulheres me ligam, elas querem sair comigo". "Porque este eh o seu desejo", eu disse. Ele disse "Eu me sinto otimo. Eu quero dizer, por muitos anos eu nao tinha sequer alguem para sair, agora eu tenho tres encontros por semana. Elas estao brigando por minha causa". Bom para voce, eu disse. Entao ele me contou "Eu realmente quero estabilidade. Eu quero casamento agora, eu quero romance". Eu disse. "Bem, entao pinte isso". Ele pintou uma lindo e romantico relacionamento, e um ano depois ele casou e ele esta muito feliz" .
Leitores... a gente eh o que a gente quer, pensa, acredita, age, recebe e agradece.
Na leitura de Five Love Languages cheguei a conclusao de que "amor eh escolha". Eu escolhi amar minha familia, mesmo sabendo que meu pai impediu a minha carreira, mesmo sabendo que minha mae nao me ensinou a ser mais feminina, mesmo que minha irma tenha me mordido na infancia, mesmo que meu primo nunca tenha me dado um presente. Eh escolha, voce ama se voce quer. Eu escolhi amar a vida, por isso eu olho para as estrelas a noite, e agradeco a Deus por elas. Eu escolhi amar minha pessoa, por isso resolvi fazer o que gosto e nao so ganhar dinheiro. Eu resolvi amar meus amigos, por isso tenho amigos de verdade. Se voce resolver amar so o dinheiro, voce sera milionario. Mas cuidado com o que voce ama e deseja, a forca do pensamento gera coisas realizadas, e desejar coisas sem amor gera destruicao. E pensar sem positividade tambem gera em destruicao do que se quer. Eu tenho ido a academia todos os dias e comendo salada, sempre pensando que demora pra emagrecer, que vai levar muito tempo, ai que droga. Mudei. Hoje eu perdi mais peso, amanha perderei mais, e meu peso voltarah ao normal para que eu me sinta melhor e mais bonita. Quero ser mais linda ainda hehe penso, visualizo, recebo.
Deus eh amor. Eu quero amor. Eu quero Deus. Eu penso em Deus, eu falo em Deus, eu recebo Deus.Quero um homem digno. Quero. Penso. Visualizo. Ajo. Conclusao: receberei. Agradecerei.
Na minha lista nao pode faltar muitas coisas... Deus, familia feliz, um homem digno, o sucesso da minha carreira. Eu quero o sucesso em tudo. Tenho cerca de 6000 pensamentos por dia, nao da para controlar todos, mas os que voce quer voce controla, quer, pensa, visualiza, age, recebe e agradece.
Agradeca, nao esqueca de agradecer. Agradeco pelo meu blog.
Agradeco a Deus por tudo. Tenham um otimo fim de semana leitores, porque o meu sera inesquecivel!
Com AMOR,
Malu xxx
No more MySpace
Hi readers :-) As you see it's been a long time I don't surf Myspace.com. I cancelled my account for many reasons, one of them it's simple I just don't have time to answer all my friends there and some people started to get upset with me and thought it was personal. It's not personal! It's just that I didn't have time to answer! Anyway... the only thing I used to do in Myspace.com was blogging. I needed to create a new blog, you all know my passion for writing... so here I am, just writing... and enjoying it! Of course I'll loose many of my readers because I left Myspace, but I have to face it, and move on!
So... for you that didn't have the chance to read my old blog, I'm going to post here a few of my last postings, so you can have an idea :)
Memories... and Vinicius de Moraes Current mood: amorous
Hi dear readers... How are you? Hopefully great...
This weekend is a holiday, and as a brazilian woman I had no idea what this American holiday was about... Memorial Day? Of course I had to make a research about it...
Now I know that this holiday commemorates US people who perished while in service of any war or military action.
It must be so hard to loose someone in a war, and I'm sure that only people who lost someone in this situation knows how painful it is. Thank God I don't know anyone close to me who died in a war, but I know friends of mine whose relatives died in service of military actions. I lost people I love though.
When you loose someone it seems like your heart is dying, and the pain is something you can't describe. When feeling this pain, I think to myself... what is happening to my body? The pain we know... does it come from the heart? Why does it hurt so much? It's a pain that comes from your chest and science can't describe. Does it really come from the heart? Or is it from the soul, something we can't see? What causes so much pain that is worse than falling down from the stairs? What makes us feel love pain? That's why when you love you have the most divine thing... such a feeling must come from above, from God. Feelings.
I hope these families who lost their relatives in the war can remember of their beloved ones in a different way this holiday. Hopefully they won't think of them fighting on the right or on the wrong side. Hopefully they won't remember how these people suffered during war. I hope they'll have "Misty water-colored memories" of how important is to have those who LIVED close to them before the war. War is bulshit. War sometimes is necessary. It doesn't make sense, but God told us that wars were going to happen because of this human-being lack of love.
When people are afraid to loose something, to loose their power, to loose their position, to loose their importance, etc, then fear comes and love disappears. So many people still prefer war than love. That's the moment in which all we have left is "Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind... Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were".
Can we choose love instead of pain? Can we choose love instead of war? Can we choose love instead of fear?
Here it is part of a beautiful song that was written by Marvin Hamlisch in 1973. It's called " The Way We Were" and it says:
"Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we? "
Feelings. Memories. The way we can be.
Memories to the families. Memories from the families. Many people are still alive and have the chance to love. It's up to them to have the opposite or not...
------------------------------------------------------------
In my brazilian woman heart comes the poetry of a brazilian writer who I simply love... he's a poet, a special person full of love inside of his heart. His name is Vinicius de Moraes... So today I'll leave here two poems from him in which you find yourself thinking about the stupid Atomic Bomb (A Bomba Atomica), or feeling pain through the poet words which express his love for a someone he loves. Many of you won't understand in portuguese, but believe in me there were not better poems than these, I couldn't mention others today. Not today.
PS:I'll translate for any of you who are interested in :)
Love? One word. War/Pain/Fear? Three words. The biggest one is still LOVE.
-----------------------------
"AUSENCIA" (by Vinicius de Moraes)
Eu deixarei que morra em mim o desejo de amar os teus olhos que sao doces
Porque nada te poderei dar senao a magoa de me veres eternamente exausta.
No entanto a tua presenca eh qualquer coisa como a luz e a vida
E eu sinto que em meu gesto existe o teu gesto e em minha voz a tua voz.
Nao te quero ter porque em meu ser tudo estaria terminado
Quero so que surjas em mim como a fe nos desesperados
Para quq eu possa levar uma gota de orvalho nesta terra amaldicoada
Que ficou sobre a minha carne como uma nodoa do passado.
Eu deixarei... tu irahs e encostarahs a tua face em outra face
Teus dedos enlacarao outros dedos e tu desabrocharas para a madrugada
Mas tu nao saberahs que quem te colheu fui eu, porque eu fui o grande intimo da noite
Porque eu encostei a minha face na face da noite e ouvi a tua fala amorosa
Porque meus dedos enlacaram os dedos da nevoa suspensos no espaco
E eu trouxe ate mim a misteriosa essencia do teu abandono desordenado.
Eu ficarei so como os veleiros nos portos silenciosos.
Mas eu te possuirei mais que ninguem porque poderei partir
E todas as lamentacoes do mar, do vento, do ceu, das aves, das estrelas
Serao a tua voz presente, a tua voz ausente, a tua voz serenizada.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Bomba Atômica" (by Vinicius de Moraes)
I
Dos céus descendo
Meu Deus eu vejo
De pára-quedas?
Uma coisa branca
Como uma forma
De estatuária
Talvez a forma
Do homem primitivo
A costela branca!
Talvez um seio
Despregado à lua
Talvez o anjo
Tutelar cadente
Talvez a Vênus
Nua, de clâmide
Talvez a inversa
Branca pirâmide
Do pensamento
Talvez o troço
De uma coluna
Da eternidade
Apaixonado
Não sei indago
Dizem-me todos
É A BOMBA ATÔMICA
Vem-me uma angústia
Quisera tanto
Por um momento
Tê-la em meus braços
E coma ao vento
Descendo nua
Pelos espaços
Descendo branca
Branca e serena
Como um espasmo
Fria e corrupta
De longo sêmen
Da Via-Láctea
Deusa impoluta
O sexo abrupto
Cubo de prata
Mulher ao cubo
Caindo aos súcubos
Intemerata
Carne tão rija
De hormônios vivos
Exacerbada
Que o simples toque
Pode rompê-la
Em cada átomo
Numa explosão
Milhões de vezes
Maior que a força
Contida no ato
Ou que a energia v Que expulsa o feto
Na hora do parto.
II
A bomba atômica é triste
Coisa mais triste não há
Quando cai, cai sem vontade
Vem caindo devagar
Tão devagar vem caindo
Que dá tempo a um passarinho
De pousar nela e voar...
Coitada da bomba atômica
Que não gosta de matar!
Coitada da bomba atômica
Que não gosta de matar
Mas que ao matar mata tudo
Animal e vegetal
Que mata a vida da terra
E mata a vida do ar
Mas que também mata a guerra...
Bomba atômica que aterra!
Bomba atônita da paz!
Pomba tonta, bomba atômica
Tristeza, consolação
Flor puríssima do urânio
Desabrochada no chão
Da cor pálida do hélium
E odor de rádium fatal
Lœlia mineral carnívora
Radiosa rosa radical.
Nunca mais oh bomba atômica
Nunca em tempo algum, jamais
Seja preciso que mates
Onde houve morte demais:
Fique apenas tua imagem
Aterradora miragem
Sobre as grandes catedrais:
Guarda de uma nova era
Arcanjo insigne da paz!
III
Bomba atômica, eu te amo! és pequenina
E branca como a estrela vespertina
E por branca eu te amo, e por donzela
De dois milhões mais bélica e mais bela
Que a donzela de Orleães; eu te amo, deusa
Atroz, visão dos céus que me domina
Da cabeleira loura de platina
E das formas aerodivinais
- Que és mulher, que és mulher e nada mais!
Eu te amo, bomba atômica, que trazes
Numa dança de fogo, envolta em gazes
A desagregação tremenda que espedaça
A matéria em energias materiais!
Oh energia, eu te amo, igual à massa
Pelo quadrado da velocidade
Da luz! alta e violenta potestade
Serena! Meu amor... desce do espaço
Vem dormir, vem dormir, no meu regaço
Para te proteger eu me encouraço
De canções e de estrofes magistrais!
Para te defender, levanto o braço
Paro as radiações espaciais
Uno-me aos líderes e aos bardos, uno-me
Ao povo ao mar e ao céu brado o teu nome
Para te defender, matéria dura
Que és mais linda, mais límpida e mais pura
Que a estrela matutina! Oh bomba atômica
Que emoção não me dá ver-te suspensa
Sobre a massa que vive e se condensa
Sob a luz! Anjo meu, fora preciso
Matar, com tua graça e teu sorriso
Para vencer? Tua enégica poesia
Fora preciso, oh deslembrada e fria
Para a paz? Tua fragílima epiderme
Em cromáticas brancas de cristais
Rompendo? Oh átomo, oh neurônio, oh germe
Da união que liberta da miséria!
Oh vida palpitando na matéria
Oh energia que és o que não eras
Quando o primeiro átomo incriado
Fecundou o silêncio das Esferas:
Um olhar de perdão para o passado
Uma anunciação de primaveras!
Currently listening :
The Way We Were: Original Soundtrack Recording
Release date: 1993-10-19
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May 21, 2008 - Wednesday
Freedom / Liberdade
Current mood: blessed
Category: Blogging
Good evening readers :) Hope you've been having a great week !
I've been thinking since yesterday about a subject that can be healthy or extremely dangerous depending on how you use it: freedom.
I started thinking about freedom when I came back to a pet store with the kids I take care of. One month ago I was in that store and I was in love with Stewart... he's a male bird, and he likes to be pet on his belly. Isn't that amazing? I've never thought that birds could be pet like dogs and cats. On that weekend I was so impressed how Stewart could play with my fingers and walk on my hands that I didn't pay attention to Sonny. Sonny is another male bird in a different cage. He's sweet, and loves to be pet. Yesterday I pet his head and his wings, and he closed his eyes... he fell asleep. God is so beautiful, how is that possible? A bird that enjoys to be pet on his head and falls asleep like a child? Jesus, I'm glad I'm alive to learn new things everyday. Of course I had to make a research about those beauties... and I found out interesting things about them. They're both Sun conures. These kind of birds live from 25 to 30 years, they size around 12 inches, they like to explore and investigate. Now what I new about them as soon as I met them: "they're loving birds that are easy to train and thrive on their owner's companionship". When I was at the store, the attendant had a snake on her neck. Actually, I'm not a big fan of snakes at all, but I pet hers becauseI wanted to feel how smoothy it was. I told the attendant that I was in love with Stewart and Sonny, and I knew their different personalities already. We started to talk and she came close to the birds. Snakes are birds' natural predators so both of them started screaming really loud. That's why during my research I read that these birds are "loud, shrill call is a tool that they use to bring attention to important situations, and many have been known to become excellent "watch dogs."" . Hehe I was really curious because I had never seen so smart birds before. It's true...they're friendly, and they come to you if you call them by their names! I love them... Picture:
These bird species live from Brazil to Venezuela... it's interesting that... as a brazilian woman I met these beaties in the USA for the first time :)
When I was in my way out of the pet store, I saw another bird. I was beautiful and orange. No name... no other birds with this orange beauty. I looked at him, and at the same time I thought "hey guy, you're beautiful...", I thought "I wish you were not here, I wish you were flying... sorry boy".
I wish Stewart and Sonny were flying too... they don't belong to that JAIL. I wish they were free.
Are you free? Do you have freedom?
I believe that every single human being confuses the meaning of the word freedom. Some people think that to be free is to do everything they want to. Can you steal someone? Of course you can, you're a free person, you can do whatever you want to. Is this freedom? Some people forget that by using their freedom they're prisioners or addicted to something. This is not freedom. My freedom ends when the freedom of another one begins.
Do I have freedom? I was thinking about this: if I want to go to another country I need a visa, a permission. I'm not free... I can be "free" in my country, but if tomorrow I decide to go somewhere else... no freedom for me...
Can I treat people bad? Yes, of course I can, I have freedom to do what I want to do, but... is this freedom? No... I would be a slave of a bad attitude. Prisioner of the evil.
Freedom for me is really important... and I was always a very independent person... and too much freedom made me prisioner of lonelyness in the US. Of course I have friends here, I have people I love here, but the people who really love me and never let me feel by myself is there in Brazil, and I'm talking about my family. Am I happy here? Yes, I am, it's true. I have what I always wanted to have while I was in Brazil thinking about coming to Los Angeles. I have freedom. No one can tell me: don't do this, or don't do that. But I miss it, and I'm not free anymore. My freedom stopped from the moment I thought I could be totally free. No one is totally happy being totally free. If you want someone, you want freedom. If you want to live your life by yourself, your freedom ends from the moment you know that you can't live by yourself in this world.
I started to feel my freedom, but I don't want to be totally free.
Have a kid, and let your kid totally free for one day. Your kid will be a prisioner of a sickness, or of a sad crying, or of death. Don't be totally free and have a healthy freedom.
Are you free to throw garbage away from the window of your car? Yes, you're free to do it. Can you? You can. You could have a ticket for littering, but you can, it doesn't matter. Will you show your freedom? No... when it rains, the garbage will get stuck on the streets, and water will flood. You'll be a prisioneer of your own garbage. To much freedom will make your feelings flood. You think you're sooo free... really free... and then you mess up your life, you act badly, you hurt people, you lie, you steal, you hide. Are you still free? Not totally, right?
What is freedom really? There you go:
"(...)you were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself". If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other"
"(...)voces foram chamados para a liberdade. Mas nao usem a sua liberdade para dar caminho a sua natureza pecaminosa. Ao contrario, sirvam uns aos outros mediante o amor. Toda a lei se resume em um mandamento: "Ame ao proximo como a si mesmo". Se voces continuarem a se morderem e se devorarem, cuidado pois se destruirao mutuamente."
Who said that? The same Creator of Stewart and Sonny...
Quem falou isso? O mesmo Criador do Stewart e do Sonny...
(Galatians 5:13-15/ Galatas 5:13-15)
PS: more information about the Sun conures, visit http://birds.about.com/od/breedsofbirds/p/sunconures.htm
Good night!!!
Malu xxx
Currently listening :
Freedom
By Michael W. Smith
Release date: 2000-11-21
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May 16, 2008 - Friday
O Amor / Love
Current mood: amorous
O AMOR / LOVE
"Ainda que eu fale as linguas dos homens e dos anjos... se nao tiver amor, serei apenas como sino que ressoa e como prato que retine.
Ainda que eu tenha o dom de profecia e saiba todos os misterios e tenha todo o conhecimento, e tenha uma fe capaz de mover montanhas... se nao tiver amor, nada serei.
Ainda que eu de aos pobres tudo o que tenhoe entregue meu corpo para ser queimado... se nao tiver amor, nada disso me valerah.
O amor eh paciente, o amor eh bondoso. Nao inveja, nao se vangloria, nao se orgulha. Nao maltrata, nao procura seus proprios interesses, nao se ira facilmente, nao guarda rancor. O amor nao se alegra com a injustica, mas se alegra com a verdade. Tudo sofre, tudo cre, tudo espera, tudo suporta.
O amor nunca falha. Mas as profecias desaparecerao, as linguas cessarao, o conhecimento passarah. Pois em parte conhecemos e em parte profetizamos. Porem, quando vier o que eh perfeito, o que eh imperfeito desaparecerah.
Quando eu era crianca, falava como crianca, pensava como crianca e raciocinava como crianca. Quando me tornei adulto deixei para tras o jeito de crianca. Agora entao vemos apenas um reflexo obscuro no espelho, depois nos veremos face a face. Agora conheco em parte, depois conhecerei plenamente, da mesma forma como sou plenamemente conhecido.
Assim, permanecem agora estes tres: a fe, a esperanca e o amor. O maior deles, porem, eh o amor." (1Corintios 13)
-----------
If I speak in the languages of men and of angels... but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of profecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and have a faith that I can move mountains... but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to poor people, and surrender my body to the flames... but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease. Where there are languages, they will be stilled. Where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1Corinthians 13)
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May 15, 2008 - Thursday
No more pearls to pigs...
Current mood: blessed
Hi readers :) This is a new day... I'm thinking about the good things that happened to me after an ocean of disasters... more new friends... I'm getting ready to close another door... I'll get there... I just need to make an effort, so I'll see completely the light at the end of the tunel :)
I went swimming, it was so relaxing... I was kind of scared with the cold water hahaha really, brazilians have warm body, it's part of our nature, but I'm too hot, I get cold easily. I was with my legs under the cold water trying to find courage to get in the water... Meanwhile, I was thinking seriously about the mistakes I made on my weekend. .
God showed me He forgave me... After swimming I got in the hot tub... I was totally relaxed... except when 2 guys got in too after a while and were facing me like a lizard faces an insect before eat it, that was really annoying. I closed my face with an angry face and they got it after a long time and left, thank God!
I didn't know that an old guy was watching me from the sauna, which is in front of the pool. Yep, he was. He got in the hot tub, and said "hello". I'm polite, I answered him back, but with a half smile. He started saying about the day, and I could not smile. If I don't want to smile, I don't force myself to do it. I just don't and that's it. Then he said "I was watching you from the sauna and you have heavy thoughts, and if I may.. you seem really depressed, and something really hurt you". I felt like crying at the same time, cause I didn't know it was so obvious that sadness was showing up on my face. I didn't know I had a face like a person who's depressed. I never knew what depression really was.
At the same time I felt that somehow that old man would mean something to me. He started telling me how beautiful the day was, and I felt even more like crying... Well, my friend was not part of my beautiful days anymore...
Well, he started talking about his life, his difficulties, and how he's been happy after terrible days. I looked at his neck. He had a neckless... a cross. I knew. God... I love you God... God is my Father... and the most beautiful Father... I asked the guy "are you from a church?". He said "yep, I go to the church, I always go to the church. Why?" . I prayed for God to send me someone like you few days ago, someone who could be my friend and a son of God like the friends I have in San Francisco. From that moment we talked about San Francisco, Los Angeles, we talked about family, friends, God's love, relationships, everything. I told him I got extremely drunk and that I smoked on the weekend because of pain. I hate myself for that. I told him that I prayed on Sunday for the first time since I got in L.A, and that I've been making things that I hate. He started saying what God showed me on Sunday... the same words... I didn't cry, I was relieved. God forgave me, and just confirmed through a person what I read in my Bible... there's nothing better than that... My new friend said something I had never thought about... he said that when we have to much love and passion inside we sometimes act crazy, but it's always about love, so we don't hurt people, an that's what really matters.He said that if I thought I was right to try to give PEARLS to PIGS, I needed to worry about what people think, and give stupid people some credit.
So my new friend also said exactly the same words of that friend I talked to in the party on Saturday. He said I was strong and that he could see that in my eyes, and that I wanted to come back, so that was the way... he said he would go to church on this Sunday, he would introduce me to his pastor, and I could like it or not, and he would introduce his son to me and I could have another new friend, and, and and, just adding to my life... a strange person who came to my life in the name of God. That's what I asked for few days ago, uh? So today I have reasons to cheer up and be happy because my Father is taking care of me...so my new friend invited me to his church, and guess what? It's 3 minutes from my house... I pass through it every single day... Is my Father amazing? Yep, He is. Does He love me? Yes, He does... I love Him too... I know He's here now, even if I don't deserve it. God has so much love that if you fail He lets you suffer, but He comes to you and show you the way if you want to. His way. Some people can have it, but some just take the bad way, the way they think they can be more FREE. I was there before, I prefer to tight my hands and have God back with me, so I'll see His love in everything I do... I'll see His love in the people He allows me to meet, I'll see His love in the little things. He will bring me back love, and keep me away from danger.
So readers... as my new friend said... I tried once more... I humiliated myself once more because of good things I have inside. I threw away pearls to some pigs... some of them are not pig at all... My new friend was right... I would not have an answer back so soon.
Hey...God knows me :) "I'll stand tall to get by, no matter how hard I try to hide". I'll be really fine :) My life has light ahead, I was made special woman from God's hands. I'll be away from the dark :) Love you Father...
Malu xxx
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May 14, 2008 - Wednesday
When do you know that you’re an au-pair in the USA?
Current mood: sleepy
Good morning :) Au-pair is the same thing of a nanny job... I got this email last night, kinda funny to me...
You know you're an Au Pair in the USA when...
...you always introduce yourself with : 'Hi! my name is ........ I'm from ...... and I take care of (1 to 6 children) children!!'
...people want to say 'Hi. How are you!' and you can't respond fast enough, so you ask them first!
...the worse thing is when the mom and/or dad is working from home
...you spend all your money at the MALL and you still have nothing to wear
...you hate Dora, The Wiggles and Thomas
... you hate McCheese, french toast, peanut butter-jelly sandwich
...you say 'silly' instead of 'stupid'
...you go to PLAYDATES
...you've seen more movies in one month than in your whole life at home
...you drive over 30 minutes to a friend and you think it's not far
...you only have other Au Pairs as your friends
...you can cook bacon better than anyone
...you say 'like' and 'totally' in every three words
...someone has asked you stupid questions like: 'do you have cars in your country?' - 'You don't have Valentine's day?' - 'Where is your country?'
...you don't think it's wrong to have cake AND ice cream.
...you park as close to the store as possible so you don't have to walk even one yard too far
...you cherish moments of silence more than ever before
...you notice yourself saying 'GOOD JOB' a hundred times a day
...you notice yourself saying "That's not nice" two hundred times a day
...you wonder why you slept all night long so uncomfortable and you notice the next morning that you slept on a barbie, a lollypop, or sandtoys etc.
... you need to be creative to find new punishments because a time-out doesn't work anymore ;-)
... you have to admit you made mistakes you never make and put the blame on you to make parents happy
...you're sure you don't want own kids within the next 100 years
...you know now exactly how difficult it was for your parents to have little kids and you feel like saying thanks everyday for all the things your mum and dad have done for you
...you're ready to drink anytime of the day
...you can say the exact speech of Disney movies
...you've learned what it means to be patient
...you know what a LCC is
...you know that can "NEVER SHAKE THE BABY!!!"
...you take a nap after you dropped off the kids at school even being up for just 2hours :-D)
...you go DRIVING to the bus stop to pick up your kids, which is only 200 meters from your house.
... You hate little pieces of cereal
...the kids call you mum cause you spend too much time with them
..... you think $160 every weekend just for shopping and coffee are not that much
... one cup of coffee doesn..t make you awake anymore, it just makes you alive.
..you or your friends are KELLERKINDER!!!!
...you miss the good old days when you were able to go to the bakery and get real bread w/ real butter
...you don't walk into the bank, you use the drive inn to get your money
...you use Purell instead of washing your hands
...instead of singing songs from the radio you sing childrens songs
... you wonder why the children need to have their pj's washed every single day
... you know how much sugar and fiber you need to have written on the packages
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May 13, 2008 - Tuesday
A choir of angels (Um coral de anjos)
Current mood: tired
Good evening readers... Today was a busy day. I worked a lot, but I can't complain, that kept my mind ocupied, and little by little I forget sad things that happened on the weekend. I wanna say 'thanks' to all of you who supported me these days, getting your e-mails means a lot to me while I fight this hard situation I've been through, but time will heal my heart again.
I could write down many things that happen today, but things like "I went to the gym", or "I cooked pasta", etc, doesn't make any difference in my life, neither your busy life. This is just part of my routine... and of course I still think of my friend, and how much she means to me, but I don't want to keep thinking about that because it's too painfull. Despite these hard times, today I had a present. I met a new friend, the first one in my area. We walked at the Redondo Beach Pier for more than two hours then we had lunch together. It was great, and I felt so good to have someone to talk to, someone who was interested in a conversation, wanted to talk and share. We talked about many things, especially about people's life in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is weird... make your career here, but if you want to make real friends or have someone who you can really trust, you're in the wrong city. I like here, but I think that it's because I understand the purpose of this place, and I'm here because I came with my professional life in mind. On the other hand, there are people who can be extremely lonely here even surrounded by "friends". If you want to go to a Hollywood nightclub to have fun, or if you want to have people to get drunk with you, share gas, share bills, etc, easily you havefriends in Los Angeles... Real real real friends? One maybe. But it will take you a long time until you find one. Despite the present situation, today was a lucky day because of a new friend. Hopefully a real good friend, let's see!
Instead of talking so much about today, I must register here what happened yesterday. Yesterday was extremely difficult, but In the middle of crazy days, some things happen to bless us. Yesterday the girl I take care of asked me "Malu, do you have plans for today?". Look at that... isn't she cute? She asked me as if she's a big lady and didn't want to mess up my day in case I had plans. She's 7. "No sweetie, I don't. Maybe I'll go to the gym later, but depending on what you say...that could wait". She showed me a paper from school and said she was going to sing at the Choir... I set my alarm clock - seriously, I need it, even the most important events I can forget without the ring of an annoying alarm - and I was there at 10.50am. Kindergarden was ready, and Sidney was sitting down facing the stage cause she's a First Grade student. When she saw me she opened the most beautifil smile and screamed my name "Malu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Malu!!!!!!! Hey, that's my nanny, that's my nanny!!" I never thought in my whole life that I would love to be a nanny, but these moments are more precious than gold... At that time Sidney had already asked about me to many people, and a friend of her daddy came to me and said she was like crazy looking for me... cute cute cute girl! Then I started looking for Jayan, but he was ready onstage, and didn't see me... Jayan is harder, I try to conquer him every day, and everyday he melts with a smile, but recovers himself again and becomes hard again. Hard heart, but a good boy who's afraid to have another nanny who leaves him again. I will not. Jayan saw me. He had a shy smile, and was calling for Sidney from the stage, and pointing to me "Malu is here! Malu is here!". God, nothing in the world could make me feel better after a weird weekend where pain was present for short but apperently long days.
The music teacher was ready. So passionate, so happy, with a sweet voice she conducted the kindergardeners who made me extremely emotional and made me laugh. Jayan was sooo shy, he could barely move hehe he seemed like a little man, a serious one, but sweet. Sidney was clapping hands cheering up for her brother! There was a girl in the middle who sang all the time making dance movements, as if she was a solo singer, I laughed so much, she would bow facing the audience, asking for clapping hands. Laughs all around. Meanwhile, there was a japonese baby, who was probaby around 4, and he was taking pictures from the audience in from of me. I felt like hugging him because of such sweetness! Sooo cute. During the performance, I saw instruments falling down, kids asking the teacher if they were the right lyrics,etc, and those single details make the difference between children and adults. If you have performances of children, these things show you their innocence, how beautiful they are... they don't care about what other people are thinking of their mistakes. Children are never afraid of trying, they are amazing... Adults need the perfect sound, the perfect instruments, the perfect microphones, the biggest stages, and can't make mistakes, never. There's nothing more boring than that. No risks, to much problems, a disguise. Inside they're all fragil as a child, but to addmit that could make them loose their morality, so... they choose to lie to themselves and... act like adults. Boring. I laughed with the kids, and their rainbows, their animal noises coming from the stage, and I was surprised how Sidney can sing well, and be focused on the songs. She was so proud of herself :-) Jim Carey was there... was a boy, he was singing and making silly faces on purpose, and the audience could not laugh more than that, we were having fun with him. At the end he came down the stage and I told him, OMG you're so funny, you dance, you move... he said: "I was the funniest, wasn't I?" Yes, you were, you did a great job! He was so happy that I noticed him... children can reeeeally make my days better...
Poetry? Not today... I'm still recoverying from God's decision... but better days will come...
Good night readers :)
Malu xxx
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May 11, 2008 - Sunday
Fim dos Tempos/The End of the Age
Current mood: tired
Category: Blogging
Hi readers... I dedicate this next week to my best friend who died and left my heart full of pain... "I will always love you my petite, God Knows what needs to be done...".
I opened my Bible today. I usually read the Bible, but for some reason I was afraid to open it, and read it... Since I got in Los Angeles 4 months ago I don't read my Bible...This weekend was hard... and God says that we come to him by love or by pain. I came by love before... today I was in his presence by pain.
I talked to a friend in a party, and she was there for some reason, and one of the reasons I believe it was because she would say "Come back to God, and will be strong again, and you'll have peace again". She was talking about something I lost. Because of my whole experience singing for God at the church for so many years, and being part of groups that we call ministries, I know that the only thing that can fill up your heart completely is God's love. It maybe sounds crazy, and weird, and that's what I felt when I didn't know about it. My family didn't believe in God, we used to hate the church, and laugh of all those people who raise their hands to God. Today all my family goes to church, and believes in God's love and power. We had famine for a short time, not those famines that you have absolutely nothing to eat, but we had milk and bread. The refrigerator was empty... no choices... we almost lost our apartment in Brazil, my mother was unemployed for a long time... my mom and dad got divorced... I broke up with my boyfriend, my sister didn't have money to pay for school materials, we were in hell and we didn't know about it. Everything changed when we started getting closer and closer to God. My sis had faith, she went to church by herself, studied the Bible by herself for years, and we had the most horrible fights when she used to invite me to go to the church with her. "ARE YOU CRAZY? NO WAY! I HATE THOSE FANATICS, THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE HAHAHA" That was me. One day I was convinced just to please her, so I went to church with her, and I never left it again, except for these last 4 months. Being with people who feel the same you feel is the best thing in the world. This happens not only at the church, I'm talking about being with your friends too, or with your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, etc. When you want the same things and feel, and build your world together, love happens in your relashionship. At the church this is about God's love.This love brought peace to all my family, and made me meet my best friends.
I've bee acting stupidly since I pushed God away from my life. I pushed Him away. Sin is good. If it wasn't good it would not be a sin. But sin is temporary. God's love is not temporary, it makes me complete and I don't feel such emptyness. Emptyness that I try to destroy by following a kind of life I know is not good for me. Emptyness that I try to destroy by getting drunk, or by using drugs, or by calling friends 3 times a day, etc. Emptyness.
That girl at the party knew me. She looked in my eyes and she said that I was strong, she said she could see that in my eyes, and that I was fighting a feeling inside of me and for sure I would be back to my old self. I was full of joy inside, that joy I had when I could feel God's presence, always smiling, always cheering up, always faithful. That was no long ago when I used to follow LIFE, not death. I'm talking about being dead inside, even trying to be happy outside. We talked about being in the enviroments we don't need to be, and if we do, we are so strong with God that nothing makes us weak. She said I would fail many times, but I would come back to God because God loves me more than anyone. He's my father, and He knows my heart, my desires, my wishes, my weaknessess, etc... She was right, I failed. I got fucking drunk and crazy last night. I mixed drinks, I smoked, I fucked myself to forget a pain. What happened? More pain I felt. And I caused pain to people that I love. Some people had to take care of me, they were worried. Shit, shit, shit. I made some people so disappointed. I was crazy. Crazy. Out of control, weak, a shame. I hated myself the whole day, and I'll keep like that until I feel that will never happen again. God gave me a limit, I'm overpassing it.
I know why I'm here. I know I'm a singer and I'll have a career. I know God put me inside of a house with a family I can help, and I know that this family will be the one who will help me too, so I'll be able to keep in the USA as a student. I know I'll stay here. God opened the doors for me and I'm closing them, one by one...I have to stop. I'm happy now that I prayed. I could not pray for months, I was embarressed. Today I prayed, I talked to God... it was so good, I know He was listening... my pain made me look for Him. I will come back to God. I want my old self, to be the old Malu, not this crazy one. I love good people, healthy people. I want some kind of people close to me...my brothers and sisters from the church, I want people who believe in love like me, who believe in God like me, who belive in family like me, who believe in friendship like me, who believe in hard work like me. People who think of a future, who study and work, have fun with responsability, and have a healthy smile. Neat people. Happy people. I want to be this Malu again. Pray for me too if you believe in God reader, because your prayer added to mine will help only!
God give me peace and the certain feeling that my best friend is fine... so I'll feel serenity.Amem. Malu xxx
O Sinal do Fim dos Tempos (Signs of the End of the Age)
Jesus saiu do templo e, enquanto caminhava, seus discipulos aproximaram-se dele para lhe mostrar as construcoes do templo. "Voces estao vendo tudo isto?" perguntou Jesus. "Eu lhes garanto que nao ficara aqui pedra sobre pedra, serao todas derrubadas".
Jesus left the temple and was walking away when the disciples came up to him to call his attention o its buildings. "Do you see all these things? he asked. "I'll tell you the truth, not one stone here will be left on another, every one will be thrown down".
Tendo Jesus se assentado no monte das Oliveiras, os discipulos dirigiram-se a ele em particular e disseram: "Dize-nos quando acontecerao essas coisas? E qual sera o sinal da tua vinda e do fim dos tempos?"
As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us" they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?"
Jesus respondeu: "Cuidado, que ninguem os engane. Pois muitos virao em meu nome, dizendo: "Eu sou o Cristo" e enganarao a muitos. Voces ouvirao falar de guerras e rumores de guerras, mas nao tenham medo. Eh necessario que tais coisas acontecam, mas ainda nao eh o fim. Nacao se levantara contra nacao, e reino contra reino. Havera fomes e terremotos em varios lugares.Tudo isso sera o inicio das dores.
Jesus answered "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming. "I am the Christ", and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will raise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
"Entao eles os entregarao para que sejam perseguidos e condenados a morte, e voces serao odiados por todas as nacoes por minha causa. Naquele tempo muitos se distanciarao da fe, e trairao e odiarao uns aos outros, e numerosos falsos profetas surgirao e enganarao a muitos. Devido ao aumento da maldade, o amor vai se esfriar, mas aquele que perseverar ate o fim sera salvo. E esta palavra de Deus sera pregada por todo o mundo como testemunho a todas as nacoes, e entao eh que vira o fim".
"Then you will be handed over to be persecutedand put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith, and will betrayand hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, love will grow cold, but those who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this God's word will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come".
Mateus 24: 1-14 / Mathew 24:1-4
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May 6, 2008 - Tuesday
If you had a bad day...flowers for you now...
Current mood: contemplative
Hi readers! How are you doing? 133 of you this last week, and I feel that I kind of ... abandoned you, soooorry. I have things to share again... what is life about if we don't share uh? I have flowers to share, I have evil to share. What do you prefer?
Let's talk about Baudelaire... Baudelaire? Who is this guy? Hold on...First of all, let me tell you why I want to talk to you about him. A friend of mine who studied at the same university I studied in wrote me asking how I was doing. I remembered the times I went to university,. I studied Baudelaire for a very long time when I made researches about his life and poetry in French Litterature. Yep, he was a writer, a french poet. I was completely in love with his poetry, and I'm not a poetry lover at all. Actually, there are few writers I really enjoy, two of them I love very much: Fernando Pessoa (he's a Brazilian writer) and Baudelaire. I studied them at university. Going to university was really good, it was crazy though. I used to wake up 5am, shit that was terrible... but that was just in the very beggining when I didn't have a car. I used to get a bus called "Jacana", and it took me around 2 hours to get at the university and of course the same to come back. I lived in Brazil, right? Gosh, the weather is hot, is reeeaaaally hot there, no kiddin'. Can you imagine your body cooking inside of a bus? I know that well hehe. So... Baudelaire...he was a french poet at the 19th century, and he wrote with the Simbolism influence. Simbolism... what I remember the most about Simbolism is that part of its art that is to put out of your mind what you have inside of your deepest thoughts, what is uncounciously said... What I really liked about Baudelaire is that he had this brain that could work on a poem in a such hard way using beautiful words to talk about dark sides. How can you be beautiful having a dark side? He could do it, it's on the paper. Baudelaire published one of my favorites works in 1857, Les Flers du Mal, translated as The Flowers of Evil. "Mal" means "evil". He had this beautiful talent and this dark mind, and when I mean 'dark' is because he could become depressive sometimes, but without loosing the beauty of a poetry. He used to do that with such a perfectionism... he could take beauty from the evil, isn't it incredible? He did something different too, and that's one of the things that makes some people different from "normal" people... what makes you different is what you create. Baudelaire was amazing... at that time in France, most of the poets were writing sad, depressed, dark things...it's easy to imagine it... things were not so good in Europe at that time, uh? People dying because of rats, the huge disease that killed so many of people in France...When we study Litterature they call that phase "Spleen", and Baudelaire lived at that time... Spleen means "ill-temper". Now comes the contratition that I love... you talk about "Spleen of Paris"... Baudelaire was not only there, but he was somewhere else, writing at the same time about a world where love was possible and the senses could be together united in ecstasy... wow... smart guy! So he was able to talk about something ideal, something transcendent as passion, love, travelling, happiness, wine, etc, BUT mentioning despair, disease, solitude, pain, etc... what a brain... Have you heard the song LOVE HURTS? Is kind of that thing... I prefer when it doesn't, but... who never felt pain when there's a good feeling inside? Good feeling inside? OPS, Baudelaire got in trouble...his poems were condemned as obscene...Blasphemy! He was in jail...and his art was recognized as a genius one after what? His death of course... it happens until today... great artists keep their art selling in small tables in the middle od the street, or in a narrow spot on the sidewalk... without being noticed, people come and go... nobody stoped here to see the eyes of that old lady oaited in black and white... nobody stoped there to see how that ocean was piece by piece becoming so blue and clear... when they die their paintings go to the famous museums around the world and you dream about going to the Louvre someday... stop! Right there close to you there's a beautiful painting to be appreciated... Baudelaire could nou paint really... but he loved Manet... I like Manet... but I LOVE Monet... I'll never forget when I saw his paintings... I could get inside of his paintings if I was very close, and I could not see anything but amazing and millions of spots of paint...but when you keep a little away from his painting you can see a beautiful bridge and flowers like the ones I have in my neighborhood... Beautiful... Flowers... Mal from a society full of temptations... what happened to Baudelaire at the end of his life? He fell in love, but he had women as his "Beauty and the Beast", and ended his life sick... he had problems with love. Who doesn't? Let him go, I'm alive, you're alive, so live your Ideal. My Ideal called me in the evening after a dark day, everyone has a dark day, or a dark side... he had a dark day. But the "Sleepy Beauty" was waiting for his call, flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers... I admire Baudelaire's work, but I wish he could have had only Flowers in his life.
"The Voice"
My cot was next the library, a Babel
Where fiction jostled science, myth and fable.
Greek dust with Roman ash there met the sight.
And I was but a folio in height
When two Voices addressed me. "Earth's a cake,"
Said one, "and full of sweetness. I can make
Your appetite to its proportions equal
Forever and forever without sequel."
Another said "Come, rove in dreams, with me,
Past knowledge, thought or possibility."
That voice sang like the wind along the shore
And, though caressing, frightened me the more.
I answered "O sweet Voice!" and from that date
Could never name my sorrow or my fate.
Behind the giant scenery of this life
I see strange worlds: with my own self at strife,
Ecstatic victim of my second sight,
I trail huge snakes, that at my ankles bite.
And like an ancient prophet, from that time,
I've loved the desert, found the sea sublime;
I've wept at festivals and laughed at wakes:
And found in sourest wines a sweet that slakes;
Falsehoods for facts I love to swallow whole,
And often fall, star-gazing, in a hole.
But the Voice cheers — "Keep dreaming. It's a rule
No sage can dream such beauty as a fool."
My cot was next the library, a Babel
Where fiction jostled science, myth and fable.
Greek dust with Roman ash there met the sight.
And I was but a folio in height
When two Voices addressed me. "Earth's a cake,"
Said one, "and full of sweetness. I can make
Your appetite to its proportions equal
Forever and forever without sequel."
Another said "Come, rove in dreams, with me,
Past knowledge, thought or possibility."
That voice sang like the wind along the shore
And, though caressing, frightened me the more.
I answered "O sweet Voice!" and from that date
Could never name my sorrow or my fate.
Behind the giant scenery of this life
I see strange worlds: with my own self at strife,
Ecstatic victim of my second sight,
I trail huge snakes, that at my ankles bite.
And like an ancient prophet, from that time,
I've loved the desert, found the sea sublime;
I've wept at festivals and laughed at wakes:
And found in sourest wines a sweet that slakes;
Falsehoods for facts I love to swallow whole,
And often fall, star-gazing, in a hole.
But the Voice cheers — "Keep dreaming. It's a rule
No sage can dream such beauty as a fool.
(Charles Baudelaire, "La Voix"/The Voice)
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April 29, 2008 - Tuesday
Ivete Sangalo and Saulo Fernandes|| Não Precisa Mudar ("You Don't Need to Change Your Way")
Current mood: animated
Category: Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXEWo2-JRDo
These are my two sweet brazilian lovers, two artists that I simply love and they were part of my life for a very very very long time. They're still part of me, but we are far from each other, since they live in Brazil and I live in the USA. Ivete Sangalo and Saulo Fernandes. Vevetinha e Saulinho, saudade...amo vcs!
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April 26, 2008 - Saturday
I forgot something in the past
Current mood: animated
Hey readers! I was reviewing my blog, and I forgot to post the song telling that I forgot completely that guy!! It's been a while that I don't even remember his face, but let me tell you something not so new. A "friend" of mine stole my camera! And she said she will sell it in Brazil! Isn't that great? Crazy. Yep, she came to America to mess up my days, and ran away with my camera. How am I suppose to record a video singing that song ? Actually, now I don't even feel like singing anything to a person who means NOTHING ELSE in my life, insn't it great? So, I'll just post part of the song that is called "I've got nothing left", I don't want to sing it really, I wanna sing when I feel something.
Now I have my mind and heart in a mood of another song ... a beautiful song...I will sing it for my sweet man who's waiting for me this afternoon... no details of my private life, and the song is only for him, I can't share here ;-)
This is the song I felt like singing a long time ago... but what I've just learned is that when you feel like singing this, you still care and you're still sad. I'm not! So, I won't sing it! Here are the lyrics :)
"I've got nothing left
I've got nothing left
I've got nothing left
I gave you my best and you treated it worthless
So I've got nothing
Anybody ever tell you that you're gonna learn
Trust and respect are two things you must earn
When it came to loving me you just weren't concerned
You never gave a damn so I guess it's my turn
So done with you"
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Are they all the same?
Current mood: thoughtful
Hi readers :)) It's been a long time again uh? Sorry that I disappeared for a while, but full of news! And this week we had 96 readers... thank you :)
As you see, it's time for poetry... My mom wrote down that poem I told you about, and I had such an inspiration to write down a few songs... I have a problem. Usually I write them down when I'm feeling anxious or thoughtful which is not so good, they can become sad. But listen... they're not always about me, most of poems/songs I think of other people, or weird occasions, situations, and sometimes it is about me. Well, you know a lot about me, but few people know me completely to understand if my words are about my life. That's not what really matters... I just hope you enjoy the lyrics...
I've been having new experiences in my life about everything. About friendship, human beings in general, love, me, nature, money, etc... And I realized that most of famous writers were sad because... what's good about thinking of friends that disappear when they know you have no money? What is good about thinking of human beings for whom you worked for now don't remember who you were? And what is good about thinking of a love that you feel that can go away suddenly without you knowing the reason why? Finally, what is good about thinking of the bad treatments ou nature have from human beings everyday?
I saw a man throwing garbage from his window... I'm in the USA, things like that don't happen. Well, well... try to create another concept of human beings around the world: they're all the same. Let this shit in the car and throw it in the garbage can of your stinky house!!! All the same.
What about friends? Are they all the same? Have a car. You have many friends, they call you all the time, and LOVE you. Have no money. You feel completely lonely. Those e-mails you write them don't have an answer back. Calls? NO WAY!! Suddenly you become infeccious, or Michael Meyers in the terrible "H-20". Are friends all the same?
What about love? This is something we gotta be careful to talk about because "LOVE HURTS" says the song... For the romantics... "The greatest thing you'll ever learn... it's just to love, and be loved in return". It's beautiful... does it really happen? Hopefully otherwise I'll suffer again, and you too uh? Because... readers, everyone wants love, uh? So, why people don't give themselves completely when they fall in love? Is it better to hurt or get hurt? Are all men the same?
Are all the woman the same? I know some friends... bitches, really. They don't care, they don't suffer. They don't want love, they don't want a future. "Is the future about washing his undies? Poor guy because before we have anything serious I have another one".
In which of these subjects are you in now? For sure in one of these... I bet.
Do writers get sad during their lives? Maybe... but there's still poetry to talk about... today is sunny so maybe I come with something as a Vanilla Ice Cream... the size of this beautiful sun, and make a happy poem. Are the poems all the same?
ART is never the same, there's always something different to live. This is not a question at all.
HAVE A GREAT DAY READERS :)))
Malu xxx
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Stars on the sea (by Malu de Oliveira)
Current mood: surprised
poem by me...
"Stars on the sea"
Walking by the water
Thinking of these days
They last more than they should
And less to make me forget I say
I saw your face, your thoughtful face
And your questions inside my head
Questions I've never heard before
And I'll never will, but I can't forget
Something I can embrace
Feeling your silence.
I feel it more than you feel it for me
This is easy I can see
I can feel it on the sea
When I see stars coming from this water
They blind me
And you're not in me.
I think of you walking by the water.
I want to walk away,
But I feel you leaving first
Leaving like I leave this sea
Stars jumping from the water
Just to try to blind me.
I see you leaving first
Like I'm leaving here this sea.
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April 25, 2008 - Friday
Run away, fly fly
Current mood: angry
You run, you run
Run fast, too fast
Slow down, you'll fall down
Run fast, run fast
Run fast, too fast
Careful, your're too fast!
But she can see
That you're running somewhere!
And pretending not to.
And holding your clue.
Run fast, run fast
Careful, she could see
Oh no, she sees
That you were there
But ran too fast!
She pretends she does not
She pretends you're not
She doens't run, she pretends she's not fast
You think you're the last
She gives you wings
You run fast and rise
She sees you're fallin' too fast
She pretends you're not
But she saw you running too fast
And you were there
And pretended you were not
She saw you, you're lost
Fly away, run away
Too fast.
She won't pretend anymore
Do want you need to do
Run fast, too fast
So she can't see your fall.
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It's a Man's World
Current mood: anxious
Category: Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0o1DTq9eAM
Live onstage a Diva shows why she's the best female vocalist in the World... she sold more cds than any other female singer in the Music history!!! Now she's driving huge audiences crazy with her 2008 World Tour singing her old balads hits, her new rock'n roll songs, and honor classic rock'n roll artists. Who's she? Celine Dion, of course
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April 12, 2008 - Saturday
Sing along...
Current mood: adventurous
Good morning readers :) It's kind of hard to express myself this morning, I'm still a little sleepy, but I don't want to sleep more cause writing waits for me, and a whole beautiful day waits for me, I'm alive. Thank you God.
Last night I hung out with my friends! I was extremely excited that I was going to a karaoke, and sing with a mic in months! Too much excitement... I had a drink called 'Hawaiian something'as soon as I got there. One drink is enough for me be too much happy, so three drinks are enough for me to talk to every single person in the place, be the DJ's friend, make the people from the place sing with me, ask people in the middle of the song if they were as drunk as me, etc, etc, etc, etc, but what the hell happened to my voice? I had no voice at all, I could not even say my name. The Dj's pronouced it as MALA. Please, don't say that, this word in portuguese means that you're a pain in the ass! Shout up friend. Say it again: MA-LU... MAAAALUUUU. MALU. No voice at all, he called me Mala. HAHAHA and my friend told me why I had no voice. I was screaming all the heavy metals people were singing, I sang with people onstage, called people to sing with me, etc. No singing at all, just fun. I felt great even without a voice, if I wasn't drunk I would be sooo mad. I remember a lot of things from last night even being drunk What I remember better is that I could not see the lyrics of the songs, they seemed like a puzzle to me, but it was my head cause I was sooooo dizzy. My friends told me I was the funniest person yesterday. Shit I wish I could be that funny without vodka. OMG hilarious things happened too HAHAHA a guy tried to conquered me by stating a conversation "you see that guy with that weird t-shirt? I bet he's going to sing Celine Dion now sweetie". OMG I was drunk "DON'Tcall me sweetie. And do you know that I KNOW CELINE DION IN PERSON? Stop right now making jokes about her cause I know her just for 14 years". Asshole. My friend was dying of laughing! I didn't call him asshole, I don't go so far, even drunk. I can hurt if I care that much. What the hell I don't care about Celine that much, I mean.. I love her, she's the sweetest, but I really don't care if many people don't like her, I was mad about the 'sweetie' thing. He was handsome by the way, but without a brain. Many guys had no brain on that place last night. One of my friends kissed a guy, and she hated him, and was the funniest thing for me last night cause she was trying to hide from him the whole evening, and I had to pretend I smoke to call her outside all the time. She's so nice, she just could not say 'get out of here' to the guy. I asked her what was the problem. A bad kisser? The worse in your life?" . She said he was a great kisser, but... remember the brain thing? yep. No brain at all. He started trying to touch her, legs and 'other things', and said "I wish my apartment was not so messy". Oh man, shut up! Do you think we are from your culture? Sex is easy man, sex is easy in America. YOU GUYS, EASY! Brazilian women have this fame, we are sexy, hot. OMG Men, you need to mess-up our mind and heart, then sex would be a possibility.
Poor friend, she was soooo disappointed. She said she does't believe in love because it never happened to her. I'm almost there, I believe I can love, but love and to be loved in return is hard. Well, I still believe in love. At least the love I have for my friends. I share with them my feelings, my happy moments, my sad things, and they're always here for me. I'm always here for you too.
We had fun, even though we were very tired after a busy week. Today will be a wonderful day again, I'm sure. Lots of plans... stars stars stars
This Roxette videoclip I love soooo much... for you today:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pceETSj-Mq0
Malu xxx
So... for you that didn't have the chance to read my old blog, I'm going to post here a few of my last postings, so you can have an idea :)
Memories... and Vinicius de Moraes Current mood: amorous
Hi dear readers... How are you? Hopefully great...
This weekend is a holiday, and as a brazilian woman I had no idea what this American holiday was about... Memorial Day? Of course I had to make a research about it...
Now I know that this holiday commemorates US people who perished while in service of any war or military action.
It must be so hard to loose someone in a war, and I'm sure that only people who lost someone in this situation knows how painful it is. Thank God I don't know anyone close to me who died in a war, but I know friends of mine whose relatives died in service of military actions. I lost people I love though.
When you loose someone it seems like your heart is dying, and the pain is something you can't describe. When feeling this pain, I think to myself... what is happening to my body? The pain we know... does it come from the heart? Why does it hurt so much? It's a pain that comes from your chest and science can't describe. Does it really come from the heart? Or is it from the soul, something we can't see? What causes so much pain that is worse than falling down from the stairs? What makes us feel love pain? That's why when you love you have the most divine thing... such a feeling must come from above, from God. Feelings.
I hope these families who lost their relatives in the war can remember of their beloved ones in a different way this holiday. Hopefully they won't think of them fighting on the right or on the wrong side. Hopefully they won't remember how these people suffered during war. I hope they'll have "Misty water-colored memories" of how important is to have those who LIVED close to them before the war. War is bulshit. War sometimes is necessary. It doesn't make sense, but God told us that wars were going to happen because of this human-being lack of love.
When people are afraid to loose something, to loose their power, to loose their position, to loose their importance, etc, then fear comes and love disappears. So many people still prefer war than love. That's the moment in which all we have left is "Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind... Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were".
Can we choose love instead of pain? Can we choose love instead of war? Can we choose love instead of fear?
Here it is part of a beautiful song that was written by Marvin Hamlisch in 1973. It's called " The Way We Were" and it says:
"Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we? "
Feelings. Memories. The way we can be.
Memories to the families. Memories from the families. Many people are still alive and have the chance to love. It's up to them to have the opposite or not...
------------------------------------------------------------
In my brazilian woman heart comes the poetry of a brazilian writer who I simply love... he's a poet, a special person full of love inside of his heart. His name is Vinicius de Moraes... So today I'll leave here two poems from him in which you find yourself thinking about the stupid Atomic Bomb (A Bomba Atomica), or feeling pain through the poet words which express his love for a someone he loves. Many of you won't understand in portuguese, but believe in me there were not better poems than these, I couldn't mention others today. Not today.
PS:I'll translate for any of you who are interested in :)
Love? One word. War/Pain/Fear? Three words. The biggest one is still LOVE.
-----------------------------
"AUSENCIA" (by Vinicius de Moraes)
Eu deixarei que morra em mim o desejo de amar os teus olhos que sao doces
Porque nada te poderei dar senao a magoa de me veres eternamente exausta.
No entanto a tua presenca eh qualquer coisa como a luz e a vida
E eu sinto que em meu gesto existe o teu gesto e em minha voz a tua voz.
Nao te quero ter porque em meu ser tudo estaria terminado
Quero so que surjas em mim como a fe nos desesperados
Para quq eu possa levar uma gota de orvalho nesta terra amaldicoada
Que ficou sobre a minha carne como uma nodoa do passado.
Eu deixarei... tu irahs e encostarahs a tua face em outra face
Teus dedos enlacarao outros dedos e tu desabrocharas para a madrugada
Mas tu nao saberahs que quem te colheu fui eu, porque eu fui o grande intimo da noite
Porque eu encostei a minha face na face da noite e ouvi a tua fala amorosa
Porque meus dedos enlacaram os dedos da nevoa suspensos no espaco
E eu trouxe ate mim a misteriosa essencia do teu abandono desordenado.
Eu ficarei so como os veleiros nos portos silenciosos.
Mas eu te possuirei mais que ninguem porque poderei partir
E todas as lamentacoes do mar, do vento, do ceu, das aves, das estrelas
Serao a tua voz presente, a tua voz ausente, a tua voz serenizada.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Bomba Atômica" (by Vinicius de Moraes)
I
Dos céus descendo
Meu Deus eu vejo
De pára-quedas?
Uma coisa branca
Como uma forma
De estatuária
Talvez a forma
Do homem primitivo
A costela branca!
Talvez um seio
Despregado à lua
Talvez o anjo
Tutelar cadente
Talvez a Vênus
Nua, de clâmide
Talvez a inversa
Branca pirâmide
Do pensamento
Talvez o troço
De uma coluna
Da eternidade
Apaixonado
Não sei indago
Dizem-me todos
É A BOMBA ATÔMICA
Vem-me uma angústia
Quisera tanto
Por um momento
Tê-la em meus braços
E coma ao vento
Descendo nua
Pelos espaços
Descendo branca
Branca e serena
Como um espasmo
Fria e corrupta
De longo sêmen
Da Via-Láctea
Deusa impoluta
O sexo abrupto
Cubo de prata
Mulher ao cubo
Caindo aos súcubos
Intemerata
Carne tão rija
De hormônios vivos
Exacerbada
Que o simples toque
Pode rompê-la
Em cada átomo
Numa explosão
Milhões de vezes
Maior que a força
Contida no ato
Ou que a energia v Que expulsa o feto
Na hora do parto.
II
A bomba atômica é triste
Coisa mais triste não há
Quando cai, cai sem vontade
Vem caindo devagar
Tão devagar vem caindo
Que dá tempo a um passarinho
De pousar nela e voar...
Coitada da bomba atômica
Que não gosta de matar!
Coitada da bomba atômica
Que não gosta de matar
Mas que ao matar mata tudo
Animal e vegetal
Que mata a vida da terra
E mata a vida do ar
Mas que também mata a guerra...
Bomba atômica que aterra!
Bomba atônita da paz!
Pomba tonta, bomba atômica
Tristeza, consolação
Flor puríssima do urânio
Desabrochada no chão
Da cor pálida do hélium
E odor de rádium fatal
Lœlia mineral carnívora
Radiosa rosa radical.
Nunca mais oh bomba atômica
Nunca em tempo algum, jamais
Seja preciso que mates
Onde houve morte demais:
Fique apenas tua imagem
Aterradora miragem
Sobre as grandes catedrais:
Guarda de uma nova era
Arcanjo insigne da paz!
III
Bomba atômica, eu te amo! és pequenina
E branca como a estrela vespertina
E por branca eu te amo, e por donzela
De dois milhões mais bélica e mais bela
Que a donzela de Orleães; eu te amo, deusa
Atroz, visão dos céus que me domina
Da cabeleira loura de platina
E das formas aerodivinais
- Que és mulher, que és mulher e nada mais!
Eu te amo, bomba atômica, que trazes
Numa dança de fogo, envolta em gazes
A desagregação tremenda que espedaça
A matéria em energias materiais!
Oh energia, eu te amo, igual à massa
Pelo quadrado da velocidade
Da luz! alta e violenta potestade
Serena! Meu amor... desce do espaço
Vem dormir, vem dormir, no meu regaço
Para te proteger eu me encouraço
De canções e de estrofes magistrais!
Para te defender, levanto o braço
Paro as radiações espaciais
Uno-me aos líderes e aos bardos, uno-me
Ao povo ao mar e ao céu brado o teu nome
Para te defender, matéria dura
Que és mais linda, mais límpida e mais pura
Que a estrela matutina! Oh bomba atômica
Que emoção não me dá ver-te suspensa
Sobre a massa que vive e se condensa
Sob a luz! Anjo meu, fora preciso
Matar, com tua graça e teu sorriso
Para vencer? Tua enégica poesia
Fora preciso, oh deslembrada e fria
Para a paz? Tua fragílima epiderme
Em cromáticas brancas de cristais
Rompendo? Oh átomo, oh neurônio, oh germe
Da união que liberta da miséria!
Oh vida palpitando na matéria
Oh energia que és o que não eras
Quando o primeiro átomo incriado
Fecundou o silêncio das Esferas:
Um olhar de perdão para o passado
Uma anunciação de primaveras!
Currently listening :
The Way We Were: Original Soundtrack Recording
Release date: 1993-10-19
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May 21, 2008 - Wednesday
Freedom / Liberdade
Current mood: blessed
Category: Blogging
Good evening readers :) Hope you've been having a great week !
I've been thinking since yesterday about a subject that can be healthy or extremely dangerous depending on how you use it: freedom.
I started thinking about freedom when I came back to a pet store with the kids I take care of. One month ago I was in that store and I was in love with Stewart... he's a male bird, and he likes to be pet on his belly. Isn't that amazing? I've never thought that birds could be pet like dogs and cats. On that weekend I was so impressed how Stewart could play with my fingers and walk on my hands that I didn't pay attention to Sonny. Sonny is another male bird in a different cage. He's sweet, and loves to be pet. Yesterday I pet his head and his wings, and he closed his eyes... he fell asleep. God is so beautiful, how is that possible? A bird that enjoys to be pet on his head and falls asleep like a child? Jesus, I'm glad I'm alive to learn new things everyday. Of course I had to make a research about those beauties... and I found out interesting things about them. They're both Sun conures. These kind of birds live from 25 to 30 years, they size around 12 inches, they like to explore and investigate. Now what I new about them as soon as I met them: "they're loving birds that are easy to train and thrive on their owner's companionship". When I was at the store, the attendant had a snake on her neck. Actually, I'm not a big fan of snakes at all, but I pet hers becauseI wanted to feel how smoothy it was. I told the attendant that I was in love with Stewart and Sonny, and I knew their different personalities already. We started to talk and she came close to the birds. Snakes are birds' natural predators so both of them started screaming really loud. That's why during my research I read that these birds are "loud, shrill call is a tool that they use to bring attention to important situations, and many have been known to become excellent "watch dogs."" . Hehe I was really curious because I had never seen so smart birds before. It's true...they're friendly, and they come to you if you call them by their names! I love them... Picture:
These bird species live from Brazil to Venezuela... it's interesting that... as a brazilian woman I met these beaties in the USA for the first time :)
When I was in my way out of the pet store, I saw another bird. I was beautiful and orange. No name... no other birds with this orange beauty. I looked at him, and at the same time I thought "hey guy, you're beautiful...", I thought "I wish you were not here, I wish you were flying... sorry boy".
I wish Stewart and Sonny were flying too... they don't belong to that JAIL. I wish they were free.
Are you free? Do you have freedom?
I believe that every single human being confuses the meaning of the word freedom. Some people think that to be free is to do everything they want to. Can you steal someone? Of course you can, you're a free person, you can do whatever you want to. Is this freedom? Some people forget that by using their freedom they're prisioners or addicted to something. This is not freedom. My freedom ends when the freedom of another one begins.
Do I have freedom? I was thinking about this: if I want to go to another country I need a visa, a permission. I'm not free... I can be "free" in my country, but if tomorrow I decide to go somewhere else... no freedom for me...
Can I treat people bad? Yes, of course I can, I have freedom to do what I want to do, but... is this freedom? No... I would be a slave of a bad attitude. Prisioner of the evil.
Freedom for me is really important... and I was always a very independent person... and too much freedom made me prisioner of lonelyness in the US. Of course I have friends here, I have people I love here, but the people who really love me and never let me feel by myself is there in Brazil, and I'm talking about my family. Am I happy here? Yes, I am, it's true. I have what I always wanted to have while I was in Brazil thinking about coming to Los Angeles. I have freedom. No one can tell me: don't do this, or don't do that. But I miss it, and I'm not free anymore. My freedom stopped from the moment I thought I could be totally free. No one is totally happy being totally free. If you want someone, you want freedom. If you want to live your life by yourself, your freedom ends from the moment you know that you can't live by yourself in this world.
I started to feel my freedom, but I don't want to be totally free.
Have a kid, and let your kid totally free for one day. Your kid will be a prisioner of a sickness, or of a sad crying, or of death. Don't be totally free and have a healthy freedom.
Are you free to throw garbage away from the window of your car? Yes, you're free to do it. Can you? You can. You could have a ticket for littering, but you can, it doesn't matter. Will you show your freedom? No... when it rains, the garbage will get stuck on the streets, and water will flood. You'll be a prisioneer of your own garbage. To much freedom will make your feelings flood. You think you're sooo free... really free... and then you mess up your life, you act badly, you hurt people, you lie, you steal, you hide. Are you still free? Not totally, right?
What is freedom really? There you go:
"(...)you were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself". If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other"
"(...)voces foram chamados para a liberdade. Mas nao usem a sua liberdade para dar caminho a sua natureza pecaminosa. Ao contrario, sirvam uns aos outros mediante o amor. Toda a lei se resume em um mandamento: "Ame ao proximo como a si mesmo". Se voces continuarem a se morderem e se devorarem, cuidado pois se destruirao mutuamente."
Who said that? The same Creator of Stewart and Sonny...
Quem falou isso? O mesmo Criador do Stewart e do Sonny...
(Galatians 5:13-15/ Galatas 5:13-15)
PS: more information about the Sun conures, visit http://birds.about.com/od/breedsofbirds/p/sunconures.htm
Good night!!!
Malu xxx
Currently listening :
Freedom
By Michael W. Smith
Release date: 2000-11-21
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May 16, 2008 - Friday
O Amor / Love
Current mood: amorous
O AMOR / LOVE
"Ainda que eu fale as linguas dos homens e dos anjos... se nao tiver amor, serei apenas como sino que ressoa e como prato que retine.
Ainda que eu tenha o dom de profecia e saiba todos os misterios e tenha todo o conhecimento, e tenha uma fe capaz de mover montanhas... se nao tiver amor, nada serei.
Ainda que eu de aos pobres tudo o que tenhoe entregue meu corpo para ser queimado... se nao tiver amor, nada disso me valerah.
O amor eh paciente, o amor eh bondoso. Nao inveja, nao se vangloria, nao se orgulha. Nao maltrata, nao procura seus proprios interesses, nao se ira facilmente, nao guarda rancor. O amor nao se alegra com a injustica, mas se alegra com a verdade. Tudo sofre, tudo cre, tudo espera, tudo suporta.
O amor nunca falha. Mas as profecias desaparecerao, as linguas cessarao, o conhecimento passarah. Pois em parte conhecemos e em parte profetizamos. Porem, quando vier o que eh perfeito, o que eh imperfeito desaparecerah.
Quando eu era crianca, falava como crianca, pensava como crianca e raciocinava como crianca. Quando me tornei adulto deixei para tras o jeito de crianca. Agora entao vemos apenas um reflexo obscuro no espelho, depois nos veremos face a face. Agora conheco em parte, depois conhecerei plenamente, da mesma forma como sou plenamemente conhecido.
Assim, permanecem agora estes tres: a fe, a esperanca e o amor. O maior deles, porem, eh o amor." (1Corintios 13)
-----------
If I speak in the languages of men and of angels... but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of profecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and have a faith that I can move mountains... but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to poor people, and surrender my body to the flames... but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease. Where there are languages, they will be stilled. Where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1Corinthians 13)
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May 15, 2008 - Thursday
No more pearls to pigs...
Current mood: blessed
Hi readers :) This is a new day... I'm thinking about the good things that happened to me after an ocean of disasters... more new friends... I'm getting ready to close another door... I'll get there... I just need to make an effort, so I'll see completely the light at the end of the tunel :)
I went swimming, it was so relaxing... I was kind of scared with the cold water hahaha really, brazilians have warm body, it's part of our nature, but I'm too hot, I get cold easily. I was with my legs under the cold water trying to find courage to get in the water... Meanwhile, I was thinking seriously about the mistakes I made on my weekend. .
God showed me He forgave me... After swimming I got in the hot tub... I was totally relaxed... except when 2 guys got in too after a while and were facing me like a lizard faces an insect before eat it, that was really annoying. I closed my face with an angry face and they got it after a long time and left, thank God!
I didn't know that an old guy was watching me from the sauna, which is in front of the pool. Yep, he was. He got in the hot tub, and said "hello". I'm polite, I answered him back, but with a half smile. He started saying about the day, and I could not smile. If I don't want to smile, I don't force myself to do it. I just don't and that's it. Then he said "I was watching you from the sauna and you have heavy thoughts, and if I may.. you seem really depressed, and something really hurt you". I felt like crying at the same time, cause I didn't know it was so obvious that sadness was showing up on my face. I didn't know I had a face like a person who's depressed. I never knew what depression really was.
At the same time I felt that somehow that old man would mean something to me. He started telling me how beautiful the day was, and I felt even more like crying... Well, my friend was not part of my beautiful days anymore...
Well, he started talking about his life, his difficulties, and how he's been happy after terrible days. I looked at his neck. He had a neckless... a cross. I knew. God... I love you God... God is my Father... and the most beautiful Father... I asked the guy "are you from a church?". He said "yep, I go to the church, I always go to the church. Why?" . I prayed for God to send me someone like you few days ago, someone who could be my friend and a son of God like the friends I have in San Francisco. From that moment we talked about San Francisco, Los Angeles, we talked about family, friends, God's love, relationships, everything. I told him I got extremely drunk and that I smoked on the weekend because of pain. I hate myself for that. I told him that I prayed on Sunday for the first time since I got in L.A, and that I've been making things that I hate. He started saying what God showed me on Sunday... the same words... I didn't cry, I was relieved. God forgave me, and just confirmed through a person what I read in my Bible... there's nothing better than that... My new friend said something I had never thought about... he said that when we have to much love and passion inside we sometimes act crazy, but it's always about love, so we don't hurt people, an that's what really matters.He said that if I thought I was right to try to give PEARLS to PIGS, I needed to worry about what people think, and give stupid people some credit.
So my new friend also said exactly the same words of that friend I talked to in the party on Saturday. He said I was strong and that he could see that in my eyes, and that I wanted to come back, so that was the way... he said he would go to church on this Sunday, he would introduce me to his pastor, and I could like it or not, and he would introduce his son to me and I could have another new friend, and, and and, just adding to my life... a strange person who came to my life in the name of God. That's what I asked for few days ago, uh? So today I have reasons to cheer up and be happy because my Father is taking care of me...so my new friend invited me to his church, and guess what? It's 3 minutes from my house... I pass through it every single day... Is my Father amazing? Yep, He is. Does He love me? Yes, He does... I love Him too... I know He's here now, even if I don't deserve it. God has so much love that if you fail He lets you suffer, but He comes to you and show you the way if you want to. His way. Some people can have it, but some just take the bad way, the way they think they can be more FREE. I was there before, I prefer to tight my hands and have God back with me, so I'll see His love in everything I do... I'll see His love in the people He allows me to meet, I'll see His love in the little things. He will bring me back love, and keep me away from danger.
So readers... as my new friend said... I tried once more... I humiliated myself once more because of good things I have inside. I threw away pearls to some pigs... some of them are not pig at all... My new friend was right... I would not have an answer back so soon.
Hey...God knows me :) "I'll stand tall to get by, no matter how hard I try to hide". I'll be really fine :) My life has light ahead, I was made special woman from God's hands. I'll be away from the dark :) Love you Father...
Malu xxx
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May 14, 2008 - Wednesday
When do you know that you’re an au-pair in the USA?
Current mood: sleepy
Good morning :) Au-pair is the same thing of a nanny job... I got this email last night, kinda funny to me...
You know you're an Au Pair in the USA when...
...you always introduce yourself with : 'Hi! my name is ........ I'm from ...... and I take care of (1 to 6 children) children!!'
...people want to say 'Hi. How are you!' and you can't respond fast enough, so you ask them first!
...the worse thing is when the mom and/or dad is working from home
...you spend all your money at the MALL and you still have nothing to wear
...you hate Dora, The Wiggles and Thomas
... you hate McCheese, french toast, peanut butter-jelly sandwich
...you say 'silly' instead of 'stupid'
...you go to PLAYDATES
...you've seen more movies in one month than in your whole life at home
...you drive over 30 minutes to a friend and you think it's not far
...you only have other Au Pairs as your friends
...you can cook bacon better than anyone
...you say 'like' and 'totally' in every three words
...someone has asked you stupid questions like: 'do you have cars in your country?' - 'You don't have Valentine's day?' - 'Where is your country?'
...you don't think it's wrong to have cake AND ice cream.
...you park as close to the store as possible so you don't have to walk even one yard too far
...you cherish moments of silence more than ever before
...you notice yourself saying 'GOOD JOB' a hundred times a day
...you notice yourself saying "That's not nice" two hundred times a day
...you wonder why you slept all night long so uncomfortable and you notice the next morning that you slept on a barbie, a lollypop, or sandtoys etc.
... you need to be creative to find new punishments because a time-out doesn't work anymore ;-)
... you have to admit you made mistakes you never make and put the blame on you to make parents happy
...you're sure you don't want own kids within the next 100 years
...you know now exactly how difficult it was for your parents to have little kids and you feel like saying thanks everyday for all the things your mum and dad have done for you
...you're ready to drink anytime of the day
...you can say the exact speech of Disney movies
...you've learned what it means to be patient
...you know what a LCC is
...you know that can "NEVER SHAKE THE BABY!!!"
...you take a nap after you dropped off the kids at school even being up for just 2hours :-D)
...you go DRIVING to the bus stop to pick up your kids, which is only 200 meters from your house.
... You hate little pieces of cereal
...the kids call you mum cause you spend too much time with them
..... you think $160 every weekend just for shopping and coffee are not that much
... one cup of coffee doesn..t make you awake anymore, it just makes you alive.
..you or your friends are KELLERKINDER!!!!
...you miss the good old days when you were able to go to the bakery and get real bread w/ real butter
...you don't walk into the bank, you use the drive inn to get your money
...you use Purell instead of washing your hands
...instead of singing songs from the radio you sing childrens songs
... you wonder why the children need to have their pj's washed every single day
... you know how much sugar and fiber you need to have written on the packages
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May 13, 2008 - Tuesday
A choir of angels (Um coral de anjos)
Current mood: tired
Good evening readers... Today was a busy day. I worked a lot, but I can't complain, that kept my mind ocupied, and little by little I forget sad things that happened on the weekend. I wanna say 'thanks' to all of you who supported me these days, getting your e-mails means a lot to me while I fight this hard situation I've been through, but time will heal my heart again.
I could write down many things that happen today, but things like "I went to the gym", or "I cooked pasta", etc, doesn't make any difference in my life, neither your busy life. This is just part of my routine... and of course I still think of my friend, and how much she means to me, but I don't want to keep thinking about that because it's too painfull. Despite these hard times, today I had a present. I met a new friend, the first one in my area. We walked at the Redondo Beach Pier for more than two hours then we had lunch together. It was great, and I felt so good to have someone to talk to, someone who was interested in a conversation, wanted to talk and share. We talked about many things, especially about people's life in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is weird... make your career here, but if you want to make real friends or have someone who you can really trust, you're in the wrong city. I like here, but I think that it's because I understand the purpose of this place, and I'm here because I came with my professional life in mind. On the other hand, there are people who can be extremely lonely here even surrounded by "friends". If you want to go to a Hollywood nightclub to have fun, or if you want to have people to get drunk with you, share gas, share bills, etc, easily you havefriends in Los Angeles... Real real real friends? One maybe. But it will take you a long time until you find one. Despite the present situation, today was a lucky day because of a new friend. Hopefully a real good friend, let's see!
Instead of talking so much about today, I must register here what happened yesterday. Yesterday was extremely difficult, but In the middle of crazy days, some things happen to bless us. Yesterday the girl I take care of asked me "Malu, do you have plans for today?". Look at that... isn't she cute? She asked me as if she's a big lady and didn't want to mess up my day in case I had plans. She's 7. "No sweetie, I don't. Maybe I'll go to the gym later, but depending on what you say...that could wait". She showed me a paper from school and said she was going to sing at the Choir... I set my alarm clock - seriously, I need it, even the most important events I can forget without the ring of an annoying alarm - and I was there at 10.50am. Kindergarden was ready, and Sidney was sitting down facing the stage cause she's a First Grade student. When she saw me she opened the most beautifil smile and screamed my name "Malu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Malu!!!!!!! Hey, that's my nanny, that's my nanny!!" I never thought in my whole life that I would love to be a nanny, but these moments are more precious than gold... At that time Sidney had already asked about me to many people, and a friend of her daddy came to me and said she was like crazy looking for me... cute cute cute girl! Then I started looking for Jayan, but he was ready onstage, and didn't see me... Jayan is harder, I try to conquer him every day, and everyday he melts with a smile, but recovers himself again and becomes hard again. Hard heart, but a good boy who's afraid to have another nanny who leaves him again. I will not. Jayan saw me. He had a shy smile, and was calling for Sidney from the stage, and pointing to me "Malu is here! Malu is here!". God, nothing in the world could make me feel better after a weird weekend where pain was present for short but apperently long days.
The music teacher was ready. So passionate, so happy, with a sweet voice she conducted the kindergardeners who made me extremely emotional and made me laugh. Jayan was sooo shy, he could barely move hehe he seemed like a little man, a serious one, but sweet. Sidney was clapping hands cheering up for her brother! There was a girl in the middle who sang all the time making dance movements, as if she was a solo singer, I laughed so much, she would bow facing the audience, asking for clapping hands. Laughs all around. Meanwhile, there was a japonese baby, who was probaby around 4, and he was taking pictures from the audience in from of me. I felt like hugging him because of such sweetness! Sooo cute. During the performance, I saw instruments falling down, kids asking the teacher if they were the right lyrics,etc, and those single details make the difference between children and adults. If you have performances of children, these things show you their innocence, how beautiful they are... they don't care about what other people are thinking of their mistakes. Children are never afraid of trying, they are amazing... Adults need the perfect sound, the perfect instruments, the perfect microphones, the biggest stages, and can't make mistakes, never. There's nothing more boring than that. No risks, to much problems, a disguise. Inside they're all fragil as a child, but to addmit that could make them loose their morality, so... they choose to lie to themselves and... act like adults. Boring. I laughed with the kids, and their rainbows, their animal noises coming from the stage, and I was surprised how Sidney can sing well, and be focused on the songs. She was so proud of herself :-) Jim Carey was there... was a boy, he was singing and making silly faces on purpose, and the audience could not laugh more than that, we were having fun with him. At the end he came down the stage and I told him, OMG you're so funny, you dance, you move... he said: "I was the funniest, wasn't I?" Yes, you were, you did a great job! He was so happy that I noticed him... children can reeeeally make my days better...
Poetry? Not today... I'm still recoverying from God's decision... but better days will come...
Good night readers :)
Malu xxx
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May 11, 2008 - Sunday
Fim dos Tempos/The End of the Age
Current mood: tired
Category: Blogging
Hi readers... I dedicate this next week to my best friend who died and left my heart full of pain... "I will always love you my petite, God Knows what needs to be done...".
I opened my Bible today. I usually read the Bible, but for some reason I was afraid to open it, and read it... Since I got in Los Angeles 4 months ago I don't read my Bible...This weekend was hard... and God says that we come to him by love or by pain. I came by love before... today I was in his presence by pain.
I talked to a friend in a party, and she was there for some reason, and one of the reasons I believe it was because she would say "Come back to God, and will be strong again, and you'll have peace again". She was talking about something I lost. Because of my whole experience singing for God at the church for so many years, and being part of groups that we call ministries, I know that the only thing that can fill up your heart completely is God's love. It maybe sounds crazy, and weird, and that's what I felt when I didn't know about it. My family didn't believe in God, we used to hate the church, and laugh of all those people who raise their hands to God. Today all my family goes to church, and believes in God's love and power. We had famine for a short time, not those famines that you have absolutely nothing to eat, but we had milk and bread. The refrigerator was empty... no choices... we almost lost our apartment in Brazil, my mother was unemployed for a long time... my mom and dad got divorced... I broke up with my boyfriend, my sister didn't have money to pay for school materials, we were in hell and we didn't know about it. Everything changed when we started getting closer and closer to God. My sis had faith, she went to church by herself, studied the Bible by herself for years, and we had the most horrible fights when she used to invite me to go to the church with her. "ARE YOU CRAZY? NO WAY! I HATE THOSE FANATICS, THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE HAHAHA" That was me. One day I was convinced just to please her, so I went to church with her, and I never left it again, except for these last 4 months. Being with people who feel the same you feel is the best thing in the world. This happens not only at the church, I'm talking about being with your friends too, or with your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, etc. When you want the same things and feel, and build your world together, love happens in your relashionship. At the church this is about God's love.This love brought peace to all my family, and made me meet my best friends.
I've bee acting stupidly since I pushed God away from my life. I pushed Him away. Sin is good. If it wasn't good it would not be a sin. But sin is temporary. God's love is not temporary, it makes me complete and I don't feel such emptyness. Emptyness that I try to destroy by following a kind of life I know is not good for me. Emptyness that I try to destroy by getting drunk, or by using drugs, or by calling friends 3 times a day, etc. Emptyness.
That girl at the party knew me. She looked in my eyes and she said that I was strong, she said she could see that in my eyes, and that I was fighting a feeling inside of me and for sure I would be back to my old self. I was full of joy inside, that joy I had when I could feel God's presence, always smiling, always cheering up, always faithful. That was no long ago when I used to follow LIFE, not death. I'm talking about being dead inside, even trying to be happy outside. We talked about being in the enviroments we don't need to be, and if we do, we are so strong with God that nothing makes us weak. She said I would fail many times, but I would come back to God because God loves me more than anyone. He's my father, and He knows my heart, my desires, my wishes, my weaknessess, etc... She was right, I failed. I got fucking drunk and crazy last night. I mixed drinks, I smoked, I fucked myself to forget a pain. What happened? More pain I felt. And I caused pain to people that I love. Some people had to take care of me, they were worried. Shit, shit, shit. I made some people so disappointed. I was crazy. Crazy. Out of control, weak, a shame. I hated myself the whole day, and I'll keep like that until I feel that will never happen again. God gave me a limit, I'm overpassing it.
I know why I'm here. I know I'm a singer and I'll have a career. I know God put me inside of a house with a family I can help, and I know that this family will be the one who will help me too, so I'll be able to keep in the USA as a student. I know I'll stay here. God opened the doors for me and I'm closing them, one by one...I have to stop. I'm happy now that I prayed. I could not pray for months, I was embarressed. Today I prayed, I talked to God... it was so good, I know He was listening... my pain made me look for Him. I will come back to God. I want my old self, to be the old Malu, not this crazy one. I love good people, healthy people. I want some kind of people close to me...my brothers and sisters from the church, I want people who believe in love like me, who believe in God like me, who belive in family like me, who believe in friendship like me, who believe in hard work like me. People who think of a future, who study and work, have fun with responsability, and have a healthy smile. Neat people. Happy people. I want to be this Malu again. Pray for me too if you believe in God reader, because your prayer added to mine will help only!
God give me peace and the certain feeling that my best friend is fine... so I'll feel serenity.Amem. Malu xxx
O Sinal do Fim dos Tempos (Signs of the End of the Age)
Jesus saiu do templo e, enquanto caminhava, seus discipulos aproximaram-se dele para lhe mostrar as construcoes do templo. "Voces estao vendo tudo isto?" perguntou Jesus. "Eu lhes garanto que nao ficara aqui pedra sobre pedra, serao todas derrubadas".
Jesus left the temple and was walking away when the disciples came up to him to call his attention o its buildings. "Do you see all these things? he asked. "I'll tell you the truth, not one stone here will be left on another, every one will be thrown down".
Tendo Jesus se assentado no monte das Oliveiras, os discipulos dirigiram-se a ele em particular e disseram: "Dize-nos quando acontecerao essas coisas? E qual sera o sinal da tua vinda e do fim dos tempos?"
As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us" they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?"
Jesus respondeu: "Cuidado, que ninguem os engane. Pois muitos virao em meu nome, dizendo: "Eu sou o Cristo" e enganarao a muitos. Voces ouvirao falar de guerras e rumores de guerras, mas nao tenham medo. Eh necessario que tais coisas acontecam, mas ainda nao eh o fim. Nacao se levantara contra nacao, e reino contra reino. Havera fomes e terremotos em varios lugares.Tudo isso sera o inicio das dores.
Jesus answered "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming. "I am the Christ", and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will raise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
"Entao eles os entregarao para que sejam perseguidos e condenados a morte, e voces serao odiados por todas as nacoes por minha causa. Naquele tempo muitos se distanciarao da fe, e trairao e odiarao uns aos outros, e numerosos falsos profetas surgirao e enganarao a muitos. Devido ao aumento da maldade, o amor vai se esfriar, mas aquele que perseverar ate o fim sera salvo. E esta palavra de Deus sera pregada por todo o mundo como testemunho a todas as nacoes, e entao eh que vira o fim".
"Then you will be handed over to be persecutedand put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith, and will betrayand hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, love will grow cold, but those who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this God's word will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come".
Mateus 24: 1-14 / Mathew 24:1-4
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May 6, 2008 - Tuesday
If you had a bad day...flowers for you now...
Current mood: contemplative
Hi readers! How are you doing? 133 of you this last week, and I feel that I kind of ... abandoned you, soooorry. I have things to share again... what is life about if we don't share uh? I have flowers to share, I have evil to share. What do you prefer?
Let's talk about Baudelaire... Baudelaire? Who is this guy? Hold on...First of all, let me tell you why I want to talk to you about him. A friend of mine who studied at the same university I studied in wrote me asking how I was doing. I remembered the times I went to university,. I studied Baudelaire for a very long time when I made researches about his life and poetry in French Litterature. Yep, he was a writer, a french poet. I was completely in love with his poetry, and I'm not a poetry lover at all. Actually, there are few writers I really enjoy, two of them I love very much: Fernando Pessoa (he's a Brazilian writer) and Baudelaire. I studied them at university. Going to university was really good, it was crazy though. I used to wake up 5am, shit that was terrible... but that was just in the very beggining when I didn't have a car. I used to get a bus called "Jacana", and it took me around 2 hours to get at the university and of course the same to come back. I lived in Brazil, right? Gosh, the weather is hot, is reeeaaaally hot there, no kiddin'. Can you imagine your body cooking inside of a bus? I know that well hehe. So... Baudelaire...he was a french poet at the 19th century, and he wrote with the Simbolism influence. Simbolism... what I remember the most about Simbolism is that part of its art that is to put out of your mind what you have inside of your deepest thoughts, what is uncounciously said... What I really liked about Baudelaire is that he had this brain that could work on a poem in a such hard way using beautiful words to talk about dark sides. How can you be beautiful having a dark side? He could do it, it's on the paper. Baudelaire published one of my favorites works in 1857, Les Flers du Mal, translated as The Flowers of Evil. "Mal" means "evil". He had this beautiful talent and this dark mind, and when I mean 'dark' is because he could become depressive sometimes, but without loosing the beauty of a poetry. He used to do that with such a perfectionism... he could take beauty from the evil, isn't it incredible? He did something different too, and that's one of the things that makes some people different from "normal" people... what makes you different is what you create. Baudelaire was amazing... at that time in France, most of the poets were writing sad, depressed, dark things...it's easy to imagine it... things were not so good in Europe at that time, uh? People dying because of rats, the huge disease that killed so many of people in France...When we study Litterature they call that phase "Spleen", and Baudelaire lived at that time... Spleen means "ill-temper". Now comes the contratition that I love... you talk about "Spleen of Paris"... Baudelaire was not only there, but he was somewhere else, writing at the same time about a world where love was possible and the senses could be together united in ecstasy... wow... smart guy! So he was able to talk about something ideal, something transcendent as passion, love, travelling, happiness, wine, etc, BUT mentioning despair, disease, solitude, pain, etc... what a brain... Have you heard the song LOVE HURTS? Is kind of that thing... I prefer when it doesn't, but... who never felt pain when there's a good feeling inside? Good feeling inside? OPS, Baudelaire got in trouble...his poems were condemned as obscene...Blasphemy! He was in jail...and his art was recognized as a genius one after what? His death of course... it happens until today... great artists keep their art selling in small tables in the middle od the street, or in a narrow spot on the sidewalk... without being noticed, people come and go... nobody stoped here to see the eyes of that old lady oaited in black and white... nobody stoped there to see how that ocean was piece by piece becoming so blue and clear... when they die their paintings go to the famous museums around the world and you dream about going to the Louvre someday... stop! Right there close to you there's a beautiful painting to be appreciated... Baudelaire could nou paint really... but he loved Manet... I like Manet... but I LOVE Monet... I'll never forget when I saw his paintings... I could get inside of his paintings if I was very close, and I could not see anything but amazing and millions of spots of paint...but when you keep a little away from his painting you can see a beautiful bridge and flowers like the ones I have in my neighborhood... Beautiful... Flowers... Mal from a society full of temptations... what happened to Baudelaire at the end of his life? He fell in love, but he had women as his "Beauty and the Beast", and ended his life sick... he had problems with love. Who doesn't? Let him go, I'm alive, you're alive, so live your Ideal. My Ideal called me in the evening after a dark day, everyone has a dark day, or a dark side... he had a dark day. But the "Sleepy Beauty" was waiting for his call, flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers... I admire Baudelaire's work, but I wish he could have had only Flowers in his life.
"The Voice"
My cot was next the library, a Babel
Where fiction jostled science, myth and fable.
Greek dust with Roman ash there met the sight.
And I was but a folio in height
When two Voices addressed me. "Earth's a cake,"
Said one, "and full of sweetness. I can make
Your appetite to its proportions equal
Forever and forever without sequel."
Another said "Come, rove in dreams, with me,
Past knowledge, thought or possibility."
That voice sang like the wind along the shore
And, though caressing, frightened me the more.
I answered "O sweet Voice!" and from that date
Could never name my sorrow or my fate.
Behind the giant scenery of this life
I see strange worlds: with my own self at strife,
Ecstatic victim of my second sight,
I trail huge snakes, that at my ankles bite.
And like an ancient prophet, from that time,
I've loved the desert, found the sea sublime;
I've wept at festivals and laughed at wakes:
And found in sourest wines a sweet that slakes;
Falsehoods for facts I love to swallow whole,
And often fall, star-gazing, in a hole.
But the Voice cheers — "Keep dreaming. It's a rule
No sage can dream such beauty as a fool."
My cot was next the library, a Babel
Where fiction jostled science, myth and fable.
Greek dust with Roman ash there met the sight.
And I was but a folio in height
When two Voices addressed me. "Earth's a cake,"
Said one, "and full of sweetness. I can make
Your appetite to its proportions equal
Forever and forever without sequel."
Another said "Come, rove in dreams, with me,
Past knowledge, thought or possibility."
That voice sang like the wind along the shore
And, though caressing, frightened me the more.
I answered "O sweet Voice!" and from that date
Could never name my sorrow or my fate.
Behind the giant scenery of this life
I see strange worlds: with my own self at strife,
Ecstatic victim of my second sight,
I trail huge snakes, that at my ankles bite.
And like an ancient prophet, from that time,
I've loved the desert, found the sea sublime;
I've wept at festivals and laughed at wakes:
And found in sourest wines a sweet that slakes;
Falsehoods for facts I love to swallow whole,
And often fall, star-gazing, in a hole.
But the Voice cheers — "Keep dreaming. It's a rule
No sage can dream such beauty as a fool.
(Charles Baudelaire, "La Voix"/The Voice)
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April 29, 2008 - Tuesday
Ivete Sangalo and Saulo Fernandes|| Não Precisa Mudar ("You Don't Need to Change Your Way")
Current mood: animated
Category: Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXEWo2-JRDo
These are my two sweet brazilian lovers, two artists that I simply love and they were part of my life for a very very very long time. They're still part of me, but we are far from each other, since they live in Brazil and I live in the USA. Ivete Sangalo and Saulo Fernandes. Vevetinha e Saulinho, saudade...amo vcs!
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April 26, 2008 - Saturday
I forgot something in the past
Current mood: animated
Hey readers! I was reviewing my blog, and I forgot to post the song telling that I forgot completely that guy!! It's been a while that I don't even remember his face, but let me tell you something not so new. A "friend" of mine stole my camera! And she said she will sell it in Brazil! Isn't that great? Crazy. Yep, she came to America to mess up my days, and ran away with my camera. How am I suppose to record a video singing that song ? Actually, now I don't even feel like singing anything to a person who means NOTHING ELSE in my life, insn't it great? So, I'll just post part of the song that is called "I've got nothing left", I don't want to sing it really, I wanna sing when I feel something.
Now I have my mind and heart in a mood of another song ... a beautiful song...I will sing it for my sweet man who's waiting for me this afternoon... no details of my private life, and the song is only for him, I can't share here ;-)
This is the song I felt like singing a long time ago... but what I've just learned is that when you feel like singing this, you still care and you're still sad. I'm not! So, I won't sing it! Here are the lyrics :)
"I've got nothing left
I've got nothing left
I've got nothing left
I gave you my best and you treated it worthless
So I've got nothing
Anybody ever tell you that you're gonna learn
Trust and respect are two things you must earn
When it came to loving me you just weren't concerned
You never gave a damn so I guess it's my turn
So done with you"
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Are they all the same?
Current mood: thoughtful
Hi readers :)) It's been a long time again uh? Sorry that I disappeared for a while, but full of news! And this week we had 96 readers... thank you :)
As you see, it's time for poetry... My mom wrote down that poem I told you about, and I had such an inspiration to write down a few songs... I have a problem. Usually I write them down when I'm feeling anxious or thoughtful which is not so good, they can become sad. But listen... they're not always about me, most of poems/songs I think of other people, or weird occasions, situations, and sometimes it is about me. Well, you know a lot about me, but few people know me completely to understand if my words are about my life. That's not what really matters... I just hope you enjoy the lyrics...
I've been having new experiences in my life about everything. About friendship, human beings in general, love, me, nature, money, etc... And I realized that most of famous writers were sad because... what's good about thinking of friends that disappear when they know you have no money? What is good about thinking of human beings for whom you worked for now don't remember who you were? And what is good about thinking of a love that you feel that can go away suddenly without you knowing the reason why? Finally, what is good about thinking of the bad treatments ou nature have from human beings everyday?
I saw a man throwing garbage from his window... I'm in the USA, things like that don't happen. Well, well... try to create another concept of human beings around the world: they're all the same. Let this shit in the car and throw it in the garbage can of your stinky house!!! All the same.
What about friends? Are they all the same? Have a car. You have many friends, they call you all the time, and LOVE you. Have no money. You feel completely lonely. Those e-mails you write them don't have an answer back. Calls? NO WAY!! Suddenly you become infeccious, or Michael Meyers in the terrible "H-20". Are friends all the same?
What about love? This is something we gotta be careful to talk about because "LOVE HURTS" says the song... For the romantics... "The greatest thing you'll ever learn... it's just to love, and be loved in return". It's beautiful... does it really happen? Hopefully otherwise I'll suffer again, and you too uh? Because... readers, everyone wants love, uh? So, why people don't give themselves completely when they fall in love? Is it better to hurt or get hurt? Are all men the same?
Are all the woman the same? I know some friends... bitches, really. They don't care, they don't suffer. They don't want love, they don't want a future. "Is the future about washing his undies? Poor guy because before we have anything serious I have another one".
In which of these subjects are you in now? For sure in one of these... I bet.
Do writers get sad during their lives? Maybe... but there's still poetry to talk about... today is sunny so maybe I come with something as a Vanilla Ice Cream... the size of this beautiful sun, and make a happy poem. Are the poems all the same?
ART is never the same, there's always something different to live. This is not a question at all.
HAVE A GREAT DAY READERS :)))
Malu xxx
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Stars on the sea (by Malu de Oliveira)
Current mood: surprised
poem by me...
"Stars on the sea"
Walking by the water
Thinking of these days
They last more than they should
And less to make me forget I say
I saw your face, your thoughtful face
And your questions inside my head
Questions I've never heard before
And I'll never will, but I can't forget
Something I can embrace
Feeling your silence.
I feel it more than you feel it for me
This is easy I can see
I can feel it on the sea
When I see stars coming from this water
They blind me
And you're not in me.
I think of you walking by the water.
I want to walk away,
But I feel you leaving first
Leaving like I leave this sea
Stars jumping from the water
Just to try to blind me.
I see you leaving first
Like I'm leaving here this sea.
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April 25, 2008 - Friday
Run away, fly fly
Current mood: angry
You run, you run
Run fast, too fast
Slow down, you'll fall down
Run fast, run fast
Run fast, too fast
Careful, your're too fast!
But she can see
That you're running somewhere!
And pretending not to.
And holding your clue.
Run fast, run fast
Careful, she could see
Oh no, she sees
That you were there
But ran too fast!
She pretends she does not
She pretends you're not
She doens't run, she pretends she's not fast
You think you're the last
She gives you wings
You run fast and rise
She sees you're fallin' too fast
She pretends you're not
But she saw you running too fast
And you were there
And pretended you were not
She saw you, you're lost
Fly away, run away
Too fast.
She won't pretend anymore
Do want you need to do
Run fast, too fast
So she can't see your fall.
1:13 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
It's a Man's World
Current mood: anxious
Category: Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0o1DTq9eAM
Live onstage a Diva shows why she's the best female vocalist in the World... she sold more cds than any other female singer in the Music history!!! Now she's driving huge audiences crazy with her 2008 World Tour singing her old balads hits, her new rock'n roll songs, and honor classic rock'n roll artists. Who's she? Celine Dion, of course
1:07 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
April 12, 2008 - Saturday
Sing along...
Current mood: adventurous
Good morning readers :) It's kind of hard to express myself this morning, I'm still a little sleepy, but I don't want to sleep more cause writing waits for me, and a whole beautiful day waits for me, I'm alive. Thank you God.
Last night I hung out with my friends! I was extremely excited that I was going to a karaoke, and sing with a mic in months! Too much excitement... I had a drink called 'Hawaiian something'as soon as I got there. One drink is enough for me be too much happy, so three drinks are enough for me to talk to every single person in the place, be the DJ's friend, make the people from the place sing with me, ask people in the middle of the song if they were as drunk as me, etc, etc, etc, etc, but what the hell happened to my voice? I had no voice at all, I could not even say my name. The Dj's pronouced it as MALA. Please, don't say that, this word in portuguese means that you're a pain in the ass! Shout up friend. Say it again: MA-LU... MAAAALUUUU. MALU. No voice at all, he called me Mala. HAHAHA and my friend told me why I had no voice. I was screaming all the heavy metals people were singing, I sang with people onstage, called people to sing with me, etc. No singing at all, just fun. I felt great even without a voice, if I wasn't drunk I would be sooo mad. I remember a lot of things from last night even being drunk What I remember better is that I could not see the lyrics of the songs, they seemed like a puzzle to me, but it was my head cause I was sooooo dizzy. My friends told me I was the funniest person yesterday. Shit I wish I could be that funny without vodka. OMG hilarious things happened too HAHAHA a guy tried to conquered me by stating a conversation "you see that guy with that weird t-shirt? I bet he's going to sing Celine Dion now sweetie". OMG I was drunk "DON'Tcall me sweetie. And do you know that I KNOW CELINE DION IN PERSON? Stop right now making jokes about her cause I know her just for 14 years". Asshole. My friend was dying of laughing! I didn't call him asshole, I don't go so far, even drunk. I can hurt if I care that much. What the hell I don't care about Celine that much, I mean.. I love her, she's the sweetest, but I really don't care if many people don't like her, I was mad about the 'sweetie' thing. He was handsome by the way, but without a brain. Many guys had no brain on that place last night. One of my friends kissed a guy, and she hated him, and was the funniest thing for me last night cause she was trying to hide from him the whole evening, and I had to pretend I smoke to call her outside all the time. She's so nice, she just could not say 'get out of here' to the guy. I asked her what was the problem. A bad kisser? The worse in your life?" . She said he was a great kisser, but... remember the brain thing? yep. No brain at all. He started trying to touch her, legs and 'other things', and said "I wish my apartment was not so messy". Oh man, shut up! Do you think we are from your culture? Sex is easy man, sex is easy in America. YOU GUYS, EASY! Brazilian women have this fame, we are sexy, hot. OMG Men, you need to mess-up our mind and heart, then sex would be a possibility.
Poor friend, she was soooo disappointed. She said she does't believe in love because it never happened to her. I'm almost there, I believe I can love, but love and to be loved in return is hard. Well, I still believe in love. At least the love I have for my friends. I share with them my feelings, my happy moments, my sad things, and they're always here for me. I'm always here for you too.
We had fun, even though we were very tired after a busy week. Today will be a wonderful day again, I'm sure. Lots of plans... stars stars stars
This Roxette videoclip I love soooo much... for you today:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pceETSj-Mq0
Malu xxx
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